Page 24 of A Surrender Of Hope

“Can you not?” Nox grumbles to Monroe, who shrugs his shoulders, the picture of innocence. Elaine walks over and grabs my hand as she glares at Nox. “What?” he asks, frowning as he looks at her and then at me.

“Go away,” she states, making Nox’s expression thunderous. But he surprises the hell out of me when he stomps away like an angry child, yelling at Razar about some weapons.

“You are ok?” Elaine finally asks when the guys are far enough away not to hear us. I open my mouth to respond when she squeezes my hand. “Truly Meyer. Tell me if you’re okay. I know you need to leave to get some things fixed, but you’ve been through a lot in the last few days. I need to know you’re going to be alright.”

I blink at her in surprise as I try to process how I’m actually feeling. If we are being one hundred percent honest here, I’ve been trying not to think about the fact that I died. The way the arrow felt when it lodged itself into my back. The burning pain encompassed me as everything slowly turned dark. It's terrifying to relive, and I haven't been strong enough to think about it, choosing to shove it to the back of my mind to deal with later. But what's been worse is my last encounter with Inanis. The way he had complete control of my body, the pain and despair I felt as people screamed in my ears.

“I—I don’t know,” I finally admit, and Elaine's sad smile falters as she nods. “I don’t really want to think about that all right now. I know I’ll have to eventually but..” I trail off and Elaine tugs me into a tight hug, surprising me at the strength of it as she holds me close. Something about this hug makes my small amount of control slip, and I have to swallow back the unexpected sob that tries to break from between my lips.

“If you could not make her cry, I would appreciate it,” Nox suddenly snaps at my side, startling me enough that I jump a little.

“By the Gods, Nox. Can you give us a minute? What's your problem?” Elaine glares at the man as I shrug out of her hold, glad for the distraction. This is not the time for a meltdown.

“You know what my problem is,” Nox grinds out. His big hands fall on my shoulders and force me to turn toward him. His normal cold green eyes are almost gentle as he puts a finger under my chin and tips my face up so he can see me clearly.

“Very well. Travel safe, you two,” Elaine says, squeezing my hand again. “We’ll talk more once you get back,” she whispers, before letting my hand go and heading back to the castle; Monroe and Victor moving to follow her in a matter of seconds.

“I’m fine.” Heat creeps up my neck as I step back, watching Elaine climb the stairs. Nox’s hand darts out and wraps around my wrist, stopping me before I can move too far away.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls, tugging me closer to him. “You know that’s pointless.”

“I’m fine, Nox,” I say firmly, straightening my shoulders and shoving everything I’d been feeling back down, making Lennox’s eyes widen just the smallest amount.

“Don’t do that.” Nox dips his head as he pulls me close, making my heart skip a beat.

“What?”

“Hide your emotions from me like that. I won't pry the information from you, but don't shove it down like that. If you're having problems with the events that happened, talk to someone. I know our…” Nox trails off with a puzzled look as he tries to find the right word for whatever is between us.

“Friendship?” I offer, almost scared to push anything serious on him. This man goes from hot to cold so damn fast, it makes my head spin. Honestly, I don’t know where I stand with him most day’s, despite his words and actions. Our first kiss was evidance of that.

The expression on his face morphs from puzzled to annoyed at my suggestion. He growls, hooks an arm around my waist, and yanks me off my feet, his lips slamming to mine in a hot, too brief kiss.

“Relationship,” he snarls against my lips, “is new, and I might not be who you trust enough to talk to just yet. But I need you to find someone to be that for you until I can earn your trust. I do care, Meyer. Despite what you may think about me. Shoving shit like that down and ignoring it will only hurt you in the long run.” Nox lets me go, and I stumble back as I try to regain my balance, breathless from the sudden kiss and more confused than ever about what we are. Why is this man so hot and cold all the time? I’m getting emotional whiplash.

“You said not to show weakness,” I remind him, making Nox scowl but dip his head in a nod. I wasn't allowed to cry during those first few weeks I was here. I couldn't show any weakness without him yelling at me.

“I know. And that won't change, especially in Versipellis. When a Demon spots weakness, they can and will strike to destroy it. But that doesn't mean you have to suffer alone. You may have come to this castle with no one in your corner, but you won't leave here that way, Little Demon.”

“Are we ready?” Valen asks, stepping up to my side and holding a hand out for me to take. I look at Nox and swear I see the smallest amount of sadness flicker in his dark eyes when I nod and take Valen’s hand.

“Yes,” Nox mutters, his eyes still on me. “Let's go. It's a long walk to the rift.”

“We have to walk? The snow is four feet deep on the North Ridge,” I almost whine, my nose wrinkling as I look down at the heavy boots on my feet, knowing I’m in for a physically challenging hike.

“We can’t leave the horses up there, and I don’t want to risk Hunters bringing them back down when the Therion and Beastia activity is higher than normal. So yes, we’re walking,” Nox clips out, checking multiple weapons strapped to his side before striding away from me without a second glance.

TWELVE

Meyer

Panting, I place my hands on my hips, trying to ignore my burning lungs which feel almost as bad as my calves from the vertical climb. “I’m pretty sure it would be best to stay at the castle. Hell isn’t a place for humans,” I grumble, patting the stupidly puffy coat Creed and Valen strapped me into as I stomp after Razar and Lennox, who lead our way up the North Ridge. Nox stops in his tracks and looks at me with an unimpressed expression on his face.

“I already said you couldn’t stay behind, and you know you're not a human, so your argument holds no merit. Stop complaining, Ranger Smith.” Nox’s voice is cool and indifferent, like we hadn’t just fucked each other's brains out a few hours ago. He turns away from me and walks further up the steep mountainside, moving over the snow like a damn cat. How does a man that size not sink into the snow under him? I’ve got to be half his weight, and I’m sweating from trying to walk in the calf-deep snow.

“Ahh, back to Ranger so quickly. Am I only Little Demon when you’re fucking me now?” I mutter under my breath and grin at Creed, who snorts a laugh. “And I am a human, just withextra spices,” I add. Laughing, Jesthren steps out from behind a tree right next to me, making me almost topple over in surprise. “Where the hell did you come from?” I demand.

“Behind the tree,” Jesthren smirks, thumbing over to the tree he was hiding behind before winking at me. “The Therion are still preoccupied to the west of the castle, and there are no Beastia in the region. Razar cleared the area well,” he says, nodding to Nox, who rolls his eyes. Razar crosses his arms over his chest and looks toward Jesthren. I can't see Razar’s face under his hood, but I know he's got his‘I’m going to kill you’glare on his face.

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