Page 43 of The Beautiful Mess

“Did you call me here to gloat?”

Lucinda placed a hand on her chest and batted her eyelashes dramatically. “Me?”

“Careful,” Kerry cautioned. “You’ll lose an extension.”

His mother rolled her eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like to be lash impaired. Both you and Natalie inherited Graham’s eyelashes. All the Harts have long, black eyelashes that don’t require curling or mascara. It’s just not fair.”

“I admire how easily you can say their names.” Kerry hadn’t intended to take their conversation in a heavy direction, but maybe that had been his problem all along.

Lucinda reached across the table for his hands, and he obliged her. “It hasn’t always been this easy, but you know that.”

“You put in the time and hard work to heal,” Kerry said.

“One step, one hour, and one day at a time. I didn’t have a choice. You’d lost your sister to a violent death and your father to grief. I wouldn’t leave you alone in this world. You were my reason for fighting every single day.”

Damn, how he loved this woman. “You started fighting for yourself at some point. You opened the salon, and you fell in love with Steven.” Kerry shook his head. “I don’t know how you learned to love again.”

Lucinda took a deep breath and looked like she was considering her words. “I couldn’t stay mad at Graham. I wanted to, but he hadn’t left us because he didn’t love us anymore. He blamed himself for Natalie’s death and never recovered.”

The discussion between his parents on the morning their lives changed forever was as clear as if it had happened yesterday instead of twenty-five years ago. Natalie had just gotten her license and wanted to drive to the river to hang out with friends. Lucinda had said no, which prompted a rare argument between mother and daughter. Graham had intervened and worked out a compromise. Natalie could take Seth and Kerry to the ice cream parlor in town and meet up with her friends there. He couldn’t have known Natalie would drop off the boys in town and catch a ride to the river with a guy she’d been secretly dating.

“Graham’s protective instincts became so severe that he wanted to shut us in against the world so no one else could hurt us. The isolation only deepened his depression until he became unrecognizable, Kerry. I urged Graham to get help. I wanted him to see a therapist to talk through his grief and paranoia. He just couldn’t live in a world without Natalie.” She shook her head sadly and squeezed Kerry’s hands before releasing him. “He lost out on watching you grow up to be an incredible man who risks his life to save others. I’d like to think Graham and Natalie are watching over us. They’d be so proud.”

Maybe on some level, Kerry realized he’d followed in his father’s footsteps. He’d built a protective wall around his heart and rarely let new people in. His close friendships were all ones he’d formed before Natalie died. He respected and liked his crew, but he only knew them professionally. Kerry had made space in his life for sexual pleasure with willing partners who knew the score, but he never permitted physical comfort. That changed when he met Keegan. Somewhere along the way, he realized he’d been existing instead of living. “I don’t want to close myself off to love anymore.”

“Then don’t,” Lucinda said firmly. “You’ve had countless examples of the truest love within our family alone. Everything you need is right here” —she pointed to her temple, then to her heart—“and right here. It’s never too late to start therapy to work on the things that are holding you back from the rich life you deserve.”

Kerry exhaled a shaky breath. He’d seen firsthand what a good therapist could do for people who’d bought into the process. “I’ll think about it, Ma.” He grinned wryly and shook his head. “I’m thirty-eight years old and about to go on my first date. I don’t want to mess this up with Keegan.”

“Sweetheart, don’t overthink this. Keegan isn’t a guy who needs grand gestures.”

“He deserves them. I thought about watching some rom-com movies to get ideas.”

Lucinda giggled and gestured for him to stop. “Don’t do that. Keegan is crazy about you, not Hollywood’s version of the perfect man. Keep it simple. Start with a nice dinner. Then, you need a nonsexual activity. Bowling, a movie, or something you know he enjoys.” Lucinda leaned close and waggled her brows. “Then you get to the really good stuff.” She sighed wistfully and got a faraway look in her eyes. “I remember when Steven and I first starteddating.”Her emphasis on the word made him cringe.

“Got it,” Kerry said. “Dinner and an activity.” They could do both those things at his house, but he wanted to make Keegan feel special. “Anything else you want to recommend?”

“Don’t screw this up.”

No pressure.“Yes, ma’am.”

“We’re having a Spring Fling at our vineyard next month, and I’d love for you to come.” Darryl’s voice boomed through the speakers on the desk phone as he rattled off a date in May. Keegan and Cash were a good thirty minutes into the phone call with the vintner, though the conversation was mostly one-sided. Every time Cash opened his mouth to speak, Darryl was off and running again. “It’s an annual event to kick off our wine season. Folks get cooped up after the winter months, so we always have a good turnout. We invite top regional chefs each year to wow us with their culinary skills, and guests enjoy live music. Does that sound like the kind of shindig you’re thinking about hosting once you’ve established your alehouse?”

“What you’ve described sounds wonderful. We’re still trying to decide on what kind of vibe we want for Hooch and Honey.”

“Perfect,” Darryl said. “The Spring Fling is sold out, but I can leave two tickets for you with my event coordinator.”

“I will be in Denver that weekend,” Cash said, “so I’ll send Keegan and his plus-one in my place.” The boss waggled his brows, and Keegan had to fight back a laugh. By the time he returned from Kerry’s house the previous day, everyone had seen the video of the big rescue and Kerry stripping down to his underwear. The crew had guessed the source of hiserrandand had shot knowing smirks and lecherous winks at him ever since, but this was the first time the boss acknowledged Keegan’s rendezvous at Kerry’s house.

“Terrific!” Darryl boomed through the connection and jolted Keegan from his thoughts. “I’ll just put down two guests from Redemption Ridge. No need to overcomplicate things.”

“Sounds great, Darryl,” Cash said. “I appreciate you taking the time to speak with us today. I admire your business model and your ethos.”

“It’s my pleasure, Cash,” the jovial man said. “I’m not one of those guys who thinks every person on this earth is his competition. The table’s big enough for everyone. I think it’s pretty cool that you’ll produce your mead and craft brews from ingredients you grow on your ranch. I want an invite to your grand opening.”

“Sure thing.” After a few rounds of niceties, Cash disconnected the call and gave Keegan his full attention. “What do you think?”

“Me? I’ve only worked two shifts at the Feisty Bull. I’ve barely dipped my toes into hospitality.”

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