Page 70 of Paddy

Vernon had been flawed. I wish he hadn’t lied but I didn’t blame him for hurting me. He wasn’t honest with himself and in the end, it ended poorly. I loved him off the strength that we’d had some good years, even if they hadn’t meant the same to him as me. But I don’t think I could ever forgive him for all that happened that was now going to affect our son.

I’ll never know what he was trying to achieve that tragic day, but what I did know was that I planned on moving on, helping Elijah get back to the kid who damn near blossomed at the thought of having a father figure that paid attention to him. That had always been the one thing I could count on with Paddy, is how much he showed up for Elijah.

Though, sometimes, it was even overwhelming when he showed up for me. I couldn'tbelievePaddy had managed to fly my mom up from Barbados at the last minute. While I had wanted her in attendance, I was aware that with the timeline of things, it may not have been an easy task.

But Paddy had been determined to meet her, and show her that I would always be taken care of no matter what I did. I think my mother was just surprised that I had snagged a handsome man a little younger than me. She joked that my father had never been nearly as young or handsome, so I better hold on to this one.

In traditional Irish fashion, we had a Catholic ceremony, as Paddy had never wanted me to question the fact that I was Irish. I'd always be a Black woman, but it was encouraging to have a window into a culture that I’d been disconnected to my whole life. I'd lost it in an Irish father, but gained it in an Irish husband, and that seemed like a better trade off to me.

Everything happened in a blur, as before I knew it, Paddy was being asked to kiss the bride. I couldn't believe I'd gotten so lucky to have a second chance at love with him. Kissing Paddy as his wife felt like kissing him for the first time.

When we shared our first kiss, our first dance, mentally I was brought to tears when we cut the cake. Not that I had anything against my first wedding, but there had been a sense of relief having Paddy not smear cake all over my face, as Vernon had.

I know it was tradition, and it felt silly even addressing it, but it was a little degrading after sitting for hours getting your makeup done, only to have it ruined for a cake cutting. Paddy had not only honored my wishes not to do so, he’d fed it to me in small pieces so there'd be no chance of it getting on my dress or face.

He'd been a little fresh during the garter removal, opting to pull it off with his teeth under my dress, but that had honestly been something I was fine with, given that we’d agreed to abstain leading up to the wedding, so I was desperate foranyattention.

In a welcome shift, Bellamy offered to make the first toast, congratulating us on our big day. “Can't believe my little brother just got married?—”

“Hey, I can't believe it either,” Paddy jovially yelled during his speech.

“From the first time I saw the two of you together, I knew it was love. He'll give you hell, Pretty. Because that one came out the womb trouble. But now that you're expecting?—”

“One bun on the stove, one bun in the oven! I'll drink for both of us!” Paddy joked.Again, interrupting Bellamy.

“For the love of God. Paddy, you gonna let me fucking finish? What I wasgonnasay is, now that you're expecting you'll keep him home. And I couldn't think of a better addition to this family than you and Elijah.” As everyone clapped and before Paddy couldn't notice, I secretly slipped away.

Paddy

Now I understood why people had weddings and didn't just get hitched at city hall like a sane person. Marriage wasn't the wedding, but it was nice getting the family together to share in a moment so significant. Now I know why Cillian had done it twice.

After Bellamy's speech, the light dimmed, as the shift in music shouldn't have surprised me, but when Pretty had set up the microphone on the dance floor, her band was playing in the background.

The light focused on me and Pretty, as if we were the only ones in the room, as cleverly weaved in lyrics aboutsingingfor me, being mysweetgirland being herDaddymade me emotional.

I'd never inspired anybody to doanythingfor me, much less write a song. I can't believe I had someone who loved me, wanted me, accepted me and all my flaws.

I’d taken a life for her and she’d taken a life for me, but in return, we gave each other life. Especially a one worth living to the fullest.

I fucking loved this woman. I loved our son, and I loved that baby on the way. Nothing made me feel more whole than family, so I took great pride in integrating her into mine. Oncethe reception had settled, I was as hungry as a wild boar, that I couldn't wait for Pretty any longer after her set.

“Paddy!” Elijah surprised me, jumping into my arms after spending some time with his grandmother, as I squeezed him hard and set him on my lap.

“Having fun with your grandmother, Elijah?”

“Yeah.”

“Just so you know, if you ever want to visit her, tell me, and I'll try to figure something out. I don't want you forgetting your roots, which is why, come this summer, I'm taking you to Ireland so you can know more about your Irish side.”

“Really?”

“It’ll have to be after the baby comes, so your mother doesn't have to travel while she's carrying. You excited to be a big brother, Elijah?”

“Not really.” Honestly, I was a wee disappointed in his answer.

“Aw, why?”

“Because everyone always pays attention to the baby.”

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