Page 5 of Echoes of Eternity

It was bold of me to make demands to a deity, again and again, but I couldn't help myself, not when our conversation had veered this far. My pulse fluttered with nervousness.

His gaze held mine with a new intensity and going against everything ingrained in me, I held his with the same fierceness. “You challenge me to reconsider the nature of suffering and the ways in which it manifests differently across various lives. This is no small task, and perhaps there is much I can learn from the struggles you face.”

My breath stuttered. “I’ve clearly illuminated not just the nature of my own suffering but also the broader struggles faced by those like me, those without a voice.”

Noboru’s wings folded behind him, distracting me for a sliver of a moment. I was drawn to their rich red coloring—a reminder of the bruises I constantly hide beneath the fine silks. No amount of play with childhood dolls could have prepared me for this reality.

“Very well. If we are to embark on this journey together, it shall be with the aim of uncovering deeper truths and perhaps finding ways to address the systemic forces that contribute to your suffering. In this endeavor, we might both gain insights beyond what we currently know.”

A humorless laugh escaped my lips and he tilted his head.

“A journey? Have you not listened to a word I’ve been saying, Noboru? I have no need to gain any more insight into my suffering. I’m still living it!”

He surprised me with his touch, causing me to flinch. His gaze fixed on the spot where we briefly connected. How do you explain to a deity that a mortal mind adapts for survival?

For once, he seemed truly perplexed over what transpired. “Have I… hurt you, mortal?”

I turned away from him, feeling guilt and shame. Though it wasn’t his fault, I couldn’t control how my body reacted to any man after all the conditioning my marriage had imposed on me.

Yet, you demanded he end your life, Matsui. That meant he would have to put his hands on you.

“Has another hurt you?” He asked again, his voice closer than I expected, sending shivers down my spine. The heat of his body behind me was familiar and foreign all at once, leaving me in a confused mess.

“I wish to end my suffering, Noboru. What don’t you understand about my request?” I whisper, knowing my window of opportunity has possibly dwindled to nothing.

He placed a tentative touch on my shoulder and this time, I was better prepared for it—my shoulders merely tensing a fraction but without the flinching.

“The fragility of mortals never ceases to amaze me,” he said under his breath.

I sighed in resignation of my fate. “Yet here you stand, unwilling to end this existence. You are capable of so much, holding immense power over beings like me, yet you choose to watch my soul wither.”

“It does not have to be this way…”

I jerked my shoulder away from his touch, abruptly turning with a scowl that was unbecoming of a woman in my station. “Then what way is it supposed to be, Noboru? What choice do I really have in this life if my future has already been chosen for me?”

He flared his wings, blocking the world out of view, and a few loose feathers floated between us.

“The fire inside of you tells me otherwise, that you do not truly wish to end your life, not when there’s such much life in you.”

“You know nothing of me,” I told him with a tense calm.

He closed the distance between us and my gaze stayed fixated on his intricate armor. Despite shrinking down from his massive form, he was still exceptionally larger than me. He smelled lightly of smoke and flames and of divinity. I didn’t notice I was crying until a breeze chilled the warm tears running down my cheeks.

Noboru’s fingers lightly brushed against my chin, guiding my head upward. As our eyes met, his gaze seemed to narrow, and I felt a strange, unspoken understanding pass between us.

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"What wouldit be like to live in a different realm? To leave all this behind and not look back?" I wondered aloud, the question hanging between us.

A peculiar warmth spread through me, one I couldn’t quite explain, and I turned away from Noboru. I wiped the remnants of my tears with the back of my hand, trying to regain my composure.

He had witnessed my emotional turmoil; I wasn’t ready for him to see me at my most vulnerable.

Noboru’s silence was heavy, but I could feel his fixed gaze upon me. “Is that what you want?” he asked softly, his voice laced with genuine intrigue.

Daring a peek over my shoulder, I wasn’t surewhat I would find. His eyes searched mine. The warmth that suffused me earlier now seemed to draw him closer, a magnetic pull that neither of us fully understood. He took a tentative step forward, as if unsure whether to bridge the space between us.

“It’s not about wanting to escape,” I replied, my voice trembling slightly. “It’s about... wondering if there’s something more, something different—a different destiny.”

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