Page 115 of That One Heartbreak

“I doubt it,” Pres said, shaking his head. Then he looked at Marley. “The swing set. Now.”

“You want me to sit on the swing set while you ream me out?”

“Nope. It’s where Cass and I go when we want to yell at each other. It’s far enough away from the house for the kids not to hear.”

The swing set Pres was talking about was an old one. Rusting at the back of the yard before the mowed lawn disappeared into the trees. Marley walked toward it, feeling a sense of impending doom.

Pres was right behind him. They each sat down on a swing. It was a tight fit, truth be told. The chains bit into his hips.

“Okay then. Tell me why you think you can’t love her and protect her at the same time,” Pres said.

“Why? So you can shout at me and call me a dick? Let’s just skip ahead, shall we?” Marley asked. “Because the sooner we do that, the sooner I can leave.”

“Remember what you told me when I sent Cassie away?” Pres asked him. “That at least you could say you weren’t the author of your own fucking misery?”

“I said that?” Marley frowned.

“Oh yeah. You said it. And you meant it. But Jesus, man, why the hell are you doing it now?”

“I’m not doing this for me.” Marley’s voice cracked. “I’m doing this for Paul. I made him a promise. To keep his wife and kids safe. I can’t be with her and do it. The last few days have proved that.”

Pres kicked at the grass, shaking his head. “Can you hear yourself? Christ, man. You had it all. Everything you wanted. Everything you deserved. You were happy. I could see it. And you actually decided that the misery was better. Because for some stupid fucking reason you blame yourself for Paul’s death.”

“I don’t blame myself. I just… there should have been something I could have done.” He tried to blink away the memory of Paul’s body lying in the ambulance, lifeless.

“I get how traumatic it must have been,” Pres told him. “More than anybody, I understand that. I felt guilt for years after I lost Delilah’s mom. But you’re the one who told me I needed to move on when I met Cassie. I needed to forget the things I’d lost and move toward the future with her.”

“I know. And look how happy you two are together.”

“And look how happy you were with Kate. Her kids adore you. You know that? And you adore them. I saw it that day at Mom and Dad’s. You were born to be a dad. Whether to your own kids or somebody else’s.” Pres’ eyes caught his. “Are you really willing to let all that go?”

“If it’s what it takes to keep them safe, yes,” Marley said, his voice sure.

Pres winced. “You’re a stubborn asshole when you want to be.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“You gotta make peace with it, man,” Pres told him. “With what happened to Paul. With falling for his wife and kids. Unless you do, you’ll never be happy again. You know that, right?”

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy,” Marley mumbled.

“And there it is. The real answer.” Pres lifted a brow.

Marley frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you sabotaged your own happiness because you feel guilty. Because Kate was Paul’s wife and you loved her before he died.”

Marley’s chest tightened. Mostly because his brother had hit the answer right between the damn eyes. But also because that truth made him feel sick.

“It was wrong. Falling for my friend’s wife,” he managed to say.

Pres’ face softened as he looked at his brother. “You couldn’t help loving her. You never told her or did anything about it, did you? When Paul was alive, I mean?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what the hell is there to feel guilty about? If Paul was still alive they’d be happily married and you’d be…” Pres trailed off. “I dunno. A pain in my ass, I guess.”

“Shut up.” Marley shook his head.

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