I all but sucked the name back in when he turned and leveled an icy glare. “Venom?”
My heart dropped to my stomach. Something ripped from my soul up to my stupid mouth.
Fuck!
I groaned and closed my eyes. The stress and hurt and rage and just all of, all of it, boiled inside me. Keif gently tried to take the letter from my hands, but I wasn’t having any of it. I clutched it to my chest and managed a shaky breath before reading it to myself.
My Love,
I’d be more than willing to send supplies. I have an army at your ready stationed with me at the Spice Lands. We can do nothing, however, until the sea cooperates. My brother has dealt with Azaria of the Savagelands. He claims she can manipulate the sea. He claims that he has seen whole coasts swallowed by her anger…
Tell Bard to give you the key to the Family Vault. I pray the knowledge within will save you. I would never forgive myself, if I cannot.
Messiah of House Krypt
I stared at the thin ruined paper until the words blurred. Fucking wonderful. Messiah was an ocean away, and Ender would probably as soon kill me as hug me. Keif had just heard it, too. In a storm of feelings, I had betrayed my most ugly moments. The ones that almost conquered me when life became too quiet. The many hideous events and actions that had truly made me Krypt.
“My Queen…” Bard quietly attempted.
“I’m not going... Under. Ground. Right. Now.” My tongue cramped as I carefully navigated it around my anger. The idea of going into the dark damp cave brought vicious flashbacks of Isabella and the Krypt.
“Of course not, my Queen,” Fish scoffed and slid from his chair. “Bard and the lads will go fetch everything in the vault if it pleases you. Tell her…” He impatiently swatted the back of Bard’s head the way only a commanding officer would. My nerves exploded on another laugh. It was a moment where the only choice I had was to laugh or break, and damned if I’d ever break before an enemy.
“Get him out of here!” Fish barked, waving toward Ryver.
I probably should have stopped him. He was far too young for such boldness, but the fact of the matter was… he was right. We had things to discuss… I had to find Ender and fix shit. I brought my hand up, but instead of smoothing my hair, I ended up clutching a good handful of it while closing my eyes to the world.
“Chalice…” Keif’ called in that low, brassy voice of his. His hands felt like they’d been roasting for hours when they found my shoulder. They were always so warm and grounding. I let him embrace me and even suffered a few rounds of him stroking my hair after Ryver had been removed.
I couldn’t be me. I didn’t have a moment to fall apart and collect myself again. I had a nation under my roof. Watching me. Depending on me. If I gave them any sign of weakness, I was certain they would rip me from the throne. Who knew what would happen then? Maybe I’d end up in a cage with Lazarus on the other side of the world.
No, that would never happen. There wasn’t a cell built that could hold both our egos.
“Ender,” I mumbled into Keif’s chest before starting to pull away.
“Is here…” Ender called from behind him. I stilled violently, and Ender’s eyes winced.
“You believe I would hurt you?” he asked incredulously.
A storm was brewing behind those soulful eyes of his. I wasn’t sure what would happen if it spun out of control within him.
I’d never been in the presence of a man who took issue with death dealing. Once you take a life, does it really matter whose? I wanted to ask, but the thought strangled until tears ran hotly down my cheeks.
What was happening to us? Had we become the very people we despised, unable to even trust each other? His hand slid around the back of my neck, and I instinctively rolled my shoulders up.
“Did you try to kill me, Chalice?” he asked, allowing his hand to soften a bit.
“Kill you?” I laughed, only to find myself swallowing tears again. We were probably all going to die on this fucking mountain, how by all that was sacred did we end up confronting each other about shit that happened back on the mountain? “Do you think I know how to milk a fucking serpent, Ender? Do you think such a thing would happen if it wasn’t ordered and orchestrated?”
“Isabella…”
I nodded, not really trusting myself to speak. “I wasn’t trying to kill you. She said it would bewitch you. It was supposed to make you do whatever I desired… instead, she tricked us all into helping her get the war plans for Icarus.”
“Bewitch me… you fed me snake venom… to bewitch me.” He slowly blinked and stared, until I felt self-conscious. “Chalice, you bewitched me that day near the bridge. The day you fought back and became a Krypt. Don’t ever let Isabella or anyone convince you of your own heart and mind.”
He lugged me against his chest and planted a kiss against the top of my head.
“My Queen…” Fish called, holding the door open wide. Two men came in with scrolls stacked in their arms. They were followed by four men lugging an old heavy trunk.