Over another glass of champagne, I told my beloved Nana about how I’d met Ryan and what had transpired, including the details of our afternoon. She hung on every word, convinced that Ryan Madewell IV was in love with me.
“Nana, I’m scared.”
“Why, darling?”
“I don’t think I can ever be her.”
Nana shot me a reassuring smile. “No, my bubula, you can never be her. You can only be you. And you are special.”
God, how I loved my grandma.
“But what if he freaks out? Lets me go? Breaks my heart?”
There was no doubt in my mind that he was still fucked up. Still in love with another. A woman who was timeless. Written on his soul with words that had touched a million hearts.
My grandma took another bite of her cake and then lovingly brushed her fingertips along my jaw.
“My dear, there are no what-ifs when it comes to love. Only what is.”
I digested the wise woman’s words.
“But, Nana, you never found another man like Grandpa.” Nor did my father find another woman like my mother, I added silently.
“Darling, it hasn’t happened yet. But it will. I’m eighty years young.”
I couldn’t help but laugh before my insecurity manifested itself again. I knew that love could be all consuming. It could put you in a blender, twist and turn you…shred you to pieces.
Then, Ryan returned with all his virile glory, love written on his face. My fears evaporated. Hope filled me. I’d love him from page one. Maybe we could get to the end together.