America

The windshield wipers thunder across the glass as Dove crawls into the backseat of Everett’s car and crumples. She never made it to the town Everett mentioned. Probably because he overestimated her walking speed and the fact that she wasn’t wearing shoes.

Rain drips from her nose and the tips of her silver hair. Mascara runs down her face. A shoulder strap on her dress has been torn through and the material is sodden. She’s holding her broken heels in one hand.

The agitation and worry that had me squirming in my seat for the entire trip eases now that we’ve found her. It’s replaced with loathing for Nathan and concern about her state.

She shivers violently. The mud-caked heels are tossed on the floor. “You guys are the best for coming to get me.”

Everett drags his jacket off. It’s thick and lined with fleece. He passes it back to her while making gentle eye contact with her. “Put this on.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes well as she pulls it around her shoulders and slides her arms into the sleeves. Drawing it tight around her, she sniffles. Exhaustion is etched on her face. She looks tiny hunched in his big jacket.

“No problem.” He adjusts the thermostat and blasts hot air into the cabin while I get out and climb into the back with her.

I cradle her in my arms as we get back on the road.

Her feet are covered in mud and bits of debris. I hate that she’s been out here all night, alone. “You all right? He didn’t… hurt you?”

“I’m so tired, babes.” She yawns and covers her mouth, but I catch the shadows in her eyes before she rests her head on my shoulder. “Can we do this later?”

“Let her sleep.” Everett reaches back between the seats to squeeze my knee before returning his hand to the steering wheel. “She’s exhausted, and he’ll still be an asshole when we get her home.”

She’s out in less than ten minutes.

A message comes through from Gray, and I ignore it like the others he’s sent this morning. I shut the device down now that I don’t need it to find Dove.

I’m an awful person for the way I’m treating Everett. Gray might have asked me to lie to him, but I agreed to it. I could have said no. I should have said no. But I didn’t. And now I don’t know what to do or say to fix this. Or anything in my life, really.

“Hey. Hey.” Everett catches my attention in the rearview mirror. “Don’t cry. We’ve got her. It’ll be okay.”

I didn’t even realize I was crying, but sure enough tears are dripping from my chin onto my sweater. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “I am so sorry, Everett.”

He looks at me with confusion. “You don’t need to apologize for crying.”

“No. I do.” I need to bite the bullet and tell him how I feel.

“I don’t understand.”

“I really like you. I wish I could be your girlfriend, but I can’t.” I really do mean it. He’s a good man with a solid heart. I can seea version of my future that could have been with him. A version where I said yes to labelling us, and I didn’t fuck Gray in that bathroom that night.

One where my heart could have held two men, and maybe in time my feelings for Gray would have faded. I have made nothing but bad choices since he showed up. This thing with him… even though it’s over… I can’t let go of these feelings.

Which is why I hate that doing the right thing means jeopardizing his career. But I cannot be this duplicitous. I can’t.

“Sure you can. I know you’re wary but—”

“I have feelings for someone else,” I say quietly but forcefully.

“What are you saying?” I can see his frown in the rearview mirror. The car glides over the center line before he corrects it. “You’re dating someone else?”

“No.” Not exactly. Gray and I… it’s not going anywhere. It wouldn’t matter if he didn’t throw me under the bus for his career. Indy is my best friend. My family. I can’t imagine bringing Gray to the Dells for her remission anniversary and asking her to be okay with me dating him. I can’t imagine him not punching Theo in the face and being bitter to her for all the bad blood between them. “I’m not.”

“You took a long time to think about that.” He exhales heavily, his knuckles white around the steering wheel. “Do you want to date this other person?”

“No. I…It’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it’s like,” he says. “You have feelings… but you don’t want to be with this guy?”