Page 59 of Those Heartbreak Scars

“I can’t be with him.” I slap my hand to my mouth, but it’s out there now.

“But you’d rather be with him than me.” He jerks his chin and swallows harshly.

“Does it matter? I can’t be with him. And I can’t keep seeing you. That isn’t fair to you when I’m so confused. When I can’t promise you what you want.”

Glaring out the window, he falls silent.

I stare out at the passing farmland for what feels like an eternity. The tears on my cheeks dry, but the ache in my chest doesn’t quit. He’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve the pain that I’ve inflicted.

“This guy you’re in love with...” he says eventually. “Does he know how you feel about him?”

“No.” Not entirely. Everett doesn’t need to know that Gray thinks it’s about sex. He has no clue that I’ve been in love with him forever.

“Has anything happened between the two of you since you’ve been seeing me?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Don’t tell me,” he says. “I don’t want the details.”

“I’m sorry.”

Again silence overcomes us. It’s only broken up by the radio and Dove snoring lightly for the rest of the trip.

The rain seems to have followed us home. It’s still coming down when Everett escorts us to our door. We’re all a little wet by the time we make it to the shelter of the portico.

He’s quiet and thoughtful, no doubt still chewing over everything we discussed. But I honestly expected him to drive away the minute we crawled out of the warm car, so there must still be more he wants to say.

“Thank you.” Dove takes off his jacket and hands it back. “I really appreciate everything, Everett.”

“Look after yourself,” he says when she kisses his cheek.

Giving me a look that indicates she may not have been asleep the entire time, she squeezes my shoulder before she disappears inside.

“Everett.” I hug my arms around my waist. I don’t know what to say to him. This is goodbye, but now that we’re here, I’m not ready for it to end. I don’t want this to be the last time I see him. “I really am sorry. You are such a great guy. I wish we could be friends.”

“You mean that?” His voice has a burr in it.

“Of course.” My eyes start to well again. If there was anyone who could help me forget Gray, it would be him.

He uses his thumb to wipe the underside of my eye. “It’s not enough. I want more of you.”

“I don’t know that I have it to give. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.” It was never my intention.

He leans his forehead against mine. His hand curves around the side of my neck. “Whatever happened, is it done? Or do you need to see where it goes?”

“It’s done. It’s so done.” It was over before it began. Gray was never mine. He’s not supposed to be mine. He will always be Indy’s. Indy’s boyfriend. Indy’s fiancé. Indy’s ex. Indy’s heartbreak. My mistake was in letting myself have hope. But last night he made it clear he was just one more in a long string of stupid moves I’ve made.

“I pushed you too hard, too fast,” he says.

“That’s not true.” My heart aches.

“Perhaps. But I should have listened to what you were saying. You told me the other night you weren’t ready.” He takes my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. “So I’m listening now. I don’t need the details. I just need you to give me a chance to help you forget him.”

“I…” I shake my head. If only it could be that simple. “What if I can’t?”

“I’m not afraid of the competition, Lucky Charm,” he consoles me. “I’m not scared to fight for what I want. I’m here. He isn’t. And from what you’ve said he’s not going to be. And even if he shows up, I don’t believe he’s the right man for you. Let me prove that to you.”

I want to put Gray behind me so badly. I want Everett to be right when he says he can help me forget. I’m so sick of loving someone who won’t and can’t love me back. “Okay.”

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