Page 61 of Under His Embrace

“I was fortunate with a very easy and simple pregnancy. I didn’t have many symptoms. I seldom got sick. I worried that the stress of running away would harm him, but it didn’t. He was an easy delivery and a perfectly healthy baby. My friends who were in the vet program were angels in disguise, and I’ll never forget that they helped me hide Caleb’s birth.”

He scowled. “So he doesn’t have a birth certificate?”

“He does, but…” I winced, hating that I did this. “I had it covered up with a fake one. I’m sure I can have it fixed one day and all.”

He nodded. “We’ll clear it up.”

I smiled at him. I bet he wanted to be on the certificate and he’d pay to make it so.

“I just had to go to such extremes to make sure my parents couldn’t find him. Or me. It was hard at first. Everything is digital and trackable. I haven’t renewed my driver’s license in years. No health insurance to file. Everything. It was eye opening. But I did my best for Caleb. I got prenatal vitamins. I went to health clinics for ultrasounds. It might have been risky going to a vet for delivery help, but it was sanitary, obviously. A roommate knew a doula, and hell, veterinarians deliver mammals and humans are mammals too.”

He slanted his brows, skeptical about that.

“It was the best I could do. Hiding and keeping Caleb safe mattered the most. Sometimes, I worried that my parents would try to have me killed if I had him, and fear is a hell of a motivator to hide well.”

“I hate that you went through this.”

I sighed. “It wasn’t easy, but I had to. I couldn’t give up on our baby. It was a symbol ofourlove, and I would never let thatdie. I’d rather you think I left you and hate me than let our baby suffer. Caleb was made from our love, and that’s something I’ll always treasure and protect.”

“He was a good baby, though?” he asked again.

“He was. He latched on well, but then it was hard to wean him off when I was exhausted from breastfeeding after he turned one. Like any baby, he had his difficult phases. I also looked for the older, grandmotherly kind of sitters to watch him. Never a daycare. Always paid them under the table and all.”

He smiled. “He sure looks healthy and cared for.”

“And he’s a good boy. He’s got your attitude sometimes, so tough and even cocky at times. He’ll try to push me and test his limits, but he’s got a good heart.”

“I see that already. I haven’t known him for a full day yet and I’m already proud of him.”

I framed his face and leaned in close to kiss him once. “I’m proud of him too.” I thought back to how Caleb didn’t think twice about reaching out to prevent Olivia from getting hurt.

“Single moms are tough,” he said. “My mom was mostly single since my dad passed away young.”

And his mom died just before we started dating. He hadn’t lacked for a family, though, working for Dante. He had Romeo, even Eva in the distance. I had both of my parents and lacked support and love.

“Caleb always knew he had a father, just that you weren’t in the picture.”

“Did he ask why?”

I nodded. “He asked more about grandparents at first. Why he didn’t have two pairs of them. Why he didn’t have any of them. That was about the time he asked about his dad, and I never lied. I always told him your name. I showed him the pictures I had of us.”

He smiled slightly. “I like knowing I was… there. In his mind.” Then he frowned. “But I hate the idea of his thinking I wanted nothing to do with him.”

I shook my head. “I never let him have that impression. I was careful not to set it up for him to have bad ideas of you. I tried not to tell him too much, and I think he’s so perceptive that he realized how it pained me to talk about you. He asked me many times if I missed you, and I did. I told him that I did. I think he stopped asking because he didn’t want to see me sad.”

“He didn’t assume anyone else was his dad?” He brushed my hair back as he stared at me, calm and not mad.

“No. I dated a couple of guys, just one-night flings to see if I could get over you.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t. After a condom broke and I got pregnant and miscarried, I didn’t want to even deal with another man again. I tried and failed to get my tubes tied, but I was too young.”

“Fuck.” He kissed my brow. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

I nodded. “And then when Wes came into our lives, I never let Caleb treat him as a replacement for a father. He wasn’t a father figure to him. He never paid attention to him or tried to interact with him. Wes treated Caleb as a thing that was just there in the background. Caleb never tried to view Wes as a father figure.”

“Good.”

I smiled. “Caleb always knew your name. Whenever he drew family pictures, you were there. For a while, he misspelled your name asFranko.”

He laughed a bit at that, but he sobered quickly.

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