Page 62 of Under His Embrace

“Ask me anything,” I pleaded. “I enjoy this. I want you to know everything. I feel terrible about all that you’ve missed.” Because it was so clear that he would’ve been such a good, involved, and hands-on dad. I almost felt foolish to think that I did a better job on my own now, but I stood by my convictionthat I kept Caleb as safe asIcould. That relying on only myself, trusting only my resources, I could ensure that he lived and thrived.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asked, softly and almost with that gut-wrenching hint of sorrow. “If you didn’t happen to get a job at the A&J and work there that night when the shooting happened, would you have ever reached out to me and told me?”

“I wanted to.” I gazed into his eyes, letting him see the truth behind my reply. “I wanted to tell you so many times. I dreamed of these best-case scenarios, these fantasies of whimsical Utopia. That I’d tell you and it would be a fairytale ending.”

“But you didn’t. Not once over all those years.”

I shook my head as shame returned. “But I didn’t know how I could. I had no way to know how you’d react. If you’d be mad and turn me away. I was nervous to come near home and be by any Constella member out of the fear that my parents would find me through you, knowing how close I was to you once. It was a link I feared they’d somehow exploit.”

“I understand that, but…” He sighed and lowered his gaze.

“All those years, the last seven of them, I spent so much time and effort escaping Wes that I didn’t have the freedom to plan a visit to talk to you. I feared sending an email. A text. A call. I was trapped, and all I could focus on was getting by. Just making life tolerable, staying afloat, and praying nothing ever happened to me or Caleb.”

“But that’s no way to live.”

I nodded. “Not at all. It was simply a way to survive.”

“Not anymore.” He kissed my brow, and I smiled at his tenderness.

I dreamed of hearing those words so many times. I fell asleep imagining great scenes like this one, and now that the moment was here, that it was happening, I was tempted to pinch myself and know that I was awake and this was reality, my reality. Afterall the sadness and yearning for him, he was here and vowing to give me a real life. “Just surviving” wasn’t an option with him.

“But what does that mean?”

He huffed. “Were you so lost to coming and not listening to a single word I said earlier?”

I frowned playfully. “Oh, like you didn’t go a little crazy back there?”

“You make me crazy.” He kissed me softly. “In the best of ways.”

“I recall your mumbling some incoherent nonsense when you came the first time.”

His answering smile was slow and sure. I was glad that this part of him never changed, his smugness that he only revealed when he was being goofy and playful with me.

“That's how you know you’re doing it right. When you can’t talk, much less think.”

I nestled into the pillow, determined to be serious again. “What did you mean, though?”

“About what?”

“About how we could be together. How this would work.” I shrugged. “How Caleb would fit into your life.”

“We stay together.”

I raised my brows. “Just like that? Here?”

“I have a house next door. Eva and Liam do too. Tessa and Romeo are a little further out with this renovation project that never seems to be finished. I think they just like staying here too much.”

I scrunched my face. “It doesn’t get crowded?”

He snorted a laugh. “You have seen how huge this place is, right?”

“I mean…” I smirked, but it turned into a grin. “Dante and Romeo, you know. Dad and son. Then Nina and Tessa are BFFs.So with the age gaps and all… I’m guessing Nina is younger than Romeo by a bit?”

He chuckled. “It’s a little complex. But you’re not suggesting there’s a reason to worry about incest, are you?”

I laughed louder, loving how easy it could be to joke with him, to laugh with him. We used to be like this all the time. I was kicking myself for how long I fought telling him. Had I cleared the air sooner, we could’ve enjoyed this whole week.

No. I’m not doing that.I refused to call myself stupid for hesitating. Owning up to my secret took guts, and I wasn’t a fool to be nervous. With all that I’d suffered and survived, I stood by my right to be guarded when it came to Caleb.

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