Page 66 of Feel Me

“And what do you feel?” I ask, even though I’m afraid to know.

“That I might be in love with you.”

I don’t swoon, go weak in the knees, or fall all over him like I’m supposed to. Not when he whispers these words like they’re a bad thing and not when he stands so rigid against me.

I simply wait unmoving, wishing he’d make sense so I know whether I need to walk away, or wrap my arms around him like I very much want to.

“I didn’t expect things to get serious especially this fast,” he admits. “You met my mother tonight, Mel. The last girl she met was on prom night my senior year of high school.”

“I only met her because you asked me to be there,” I remind him. My gaze searches his face for any sign that can tell me what he’s thinking. “But it’s like you’re punishing me for agreeing to go with you. Did you want me to say no? Is that what you were hoping for?”

“No. I wanted you with me,” he says.

His stare is so intense I can barely find my words. “Then why are you making me feel like I’ve forced you into a corner, or somehow manipulated you?” I speak slowly, struggling to understand what he’s doing. “You didn’t have to introduce me to your family, no one needed to know we were together. You did this, Declan.You. I never put any pressure on you, so don’t stand here acting like I did.”

“That’s not what I’m saying” he says, his voice rising. “But I need you to be honest with me. Did you expect us to be where we are? We’ve been together what? ?Just over two months, and we’ve barely known a night apart.”

“No,” I confess. “I never expected this.”

“Neither did I,” he repeats. “I wasn’t ready for any of it.”

My chest tightens. I’m so emotionally battered, all I want to do is lie down. But I can’t. Not yet.

“Do you think this was a good time for me to fall in love?” My eyes well when he turns his head away in pain. “It’s not,” I choke, my tears falling. “My dad isn’t getting better, Declan. In another few months, I’m probably going to walk away from a career that I love to take care of him in his final days.”

“Mel,” he begins.

I shake my head, cutting him off. “You came and made everything better by being with me, and I’m grateful to you because of it. No matter how scared I was that I was in over my head, I loved every moment of it. Untiltonight.”

I reach for my suitcase. Declan sweeps me into his arms before I can grip the handle and presses me against the wall.

His kiss is deep, branding me with everything he’s feeling. At first I try to pull away, but his insistence and the way his hands drag along my body reignites the tenderness I experience every time his bare flesh touches mine.

“Don’t go,” he says between breaths. “Please . . . don’t leave me.”

My arms link around his neck as he lifts me and carries me to the couch. As our passion surges, I expect him to peel away my clothes and for his hand to disappear between my legs. Instead he sits, keeping me on his lap and holding me close.

“I don’t believe in love,” he says, breaking away. “And I’ve never wanted to settle down.”

Despite how I told him I wasn’t asking him for anything, his words sting. I lower my chin. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me, but he’s doing one hell of a job.

“But with you,” he says, appearing torn. “It’s like I have to.”

“I don’t understand,” I tell him truthfully.

He doesn’t seem to either, but tries to explain. “When we arrived and my family came up to you, it’s like right away, you belonged. With the exception of Sofia who she’s known since she was a little girl, Tess who’s an ivy league grad and the mother of her grandchildren, and Sol who brought Finn back from edge, my mother never considered anyone good enough for her sons—and don’t get me started on Wren. Evan’s company makes billions, but it’s what he did for Wren that proved his worth.”

“She asked you to call her Mama,” he points out. “She immediately knew, what I’ve known all along, that you’re the best thing to ever walk into my life.”

I wipe my eyes, his words like daggers to my heart. “Sofia sits on Killian’s lap and all I think is, Melissa should be sitting on my lap. You swept in and out of the kitchen making food, smiling and engaging with my family like you’ve been a part of it forever. But when I saw you holding the baby, it’s like I saw the future I wasn’t supposed to have.”

I can’t move, tears drenching my cheeks, but none that fall are happy tears. Declan isn’t happy sharing what he does. It hurts him to say it.

“You’re always there to tell me when I’m out of line. You cook for me, you take care of me. You listen to me?when I just need to be heard, or ranting because I’m ready to punch someone’s face in. You came into my life because you were forced to, but stayed when I needed you most. You’re the one, Mel, there’s no doubt in my mind.”

“But you’re not ready to have me,” I finish for him.

“No,” he admits, his voice softening. “I’veneverbeen ready to have you.”

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