Page 40 of Playmaker

If so, she’s got a rude awakening coming.

With a cunning smile in her direction, I say, “I’m not going to kiss and tell.”

Maddie rolls her eyes, and I understand she can’t stand me right now, but she has to know that I fucked up earlier. I need to tell her how horrible I feel about what happened, and if I could go back and make Ethan tell Mark to get lost, I would, but I didn’t know that’s what she wanted me to do at the time.

“So it’s anewgirl,” Ethan muses. His face is puzzled as he tries to figure out who it is, but he’ll never be able to guess. “And you know who it is, Maddie?”

A smile threatens to appear on her lips, but she hides it and says, “I have no idea. I just took a wild guess. His dick seems to be inside a new girl every day.”

I flinch.

I actuallyflinch.

Is that what she thinks I’m doing? Sticking my dick in other girls all because I told Ethan he should set Maddie up with Mark?

She has no idea the power she holds over me. She doesn’t have a clue that I haven’t stuck my dick in anyone since we started messing around.Beforethat, even. I’ve been exclusive with her since the moment we kissed, but I can’t exactly say that with her brother in the same room.

“Who on earth could she be that you’re being so secretive about it?” Ethan asks.

If I can’t tell her, then I’m damn well going to drop hints.

“I’m not saying names because I want her all to myself,” I say, flicking my eyes to hers briefly. Her lips part, but she remains silent.

Ethan’s eyebrows shoot to his forehead. “She’s got you locked down likethat? Damn. Is she that good in bed?”

I immediately laugh and then laugh even harder because he hasnoidea he’s talking about his little sister right now.

“Definitely,” I reply, my eyes never leaving Maddie’s. “She’s the best I’ve ever had.”

Maddie’s eyes drop to the floor, her cheeks turning a bright red. She doesn’t want Ethan to see, so she quickly spins around and says, “You guys are gross. I’ve got studying to do.”

“As always,” Ethan replies when she disappears. “God, she’s so lame.”

Not always.

Contact with Maddie, whether it’s awkward or not, feels good.Sogood. Although she still seemed annoyed with me, she didn’t seem pissed, so I’m taking that as a step in the right direction. Then again, she was in the same room with her brother, so she couldn’t exactly act pissed in front of me and make the tension between us obvious.

I replay the interaction on a loop when Ethan starts the game back up, my brain overthinking and worrying about her ending this exploring proposition between us before it’s even started.

When did I become this type of guy? The type to analyze every word exchanged and try to read between the lines? It’s so unlike me.

I’mnotclingy. I’m not someone who cares if a girl wants to continue things because I’ve never continued them before. With anyone. If I found a girl who was okay with what I was looking for, we’d have sex, and then we’d chat for a minute or two, and then they were out the door going about their lives.

Maddie is different.

Clearly, my first crush hasn’t faded, and now that I’ve crossed into the realm of intimacy with her, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop. And Ihaveto stop. We’ll be going back to school, and long distance has never worked out for anyone. How would it be able to work for us when we would have to hide our entire relationship?

Itcan’twork, and yet here I am, trying to conjure up ways to make it happen.

Releasing a sigh, I try to focus on the game again but it’s no use.

Maddie Davis fucked me up the very second her lips met mine, and now I fear I’ve got no chance of recovering.

Seventeen

Maddie

In high school I used to think girls who were obsessed with their boyfriends were annoying. They’d hold hands everywhere they walked, canoodle by the stairs, whisper sweet nothings when I passed them in the halls. It was ridiculous to think someone could be in love that young, but that was before Cameron Holden kissed me.

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