Page 39 of Playmaker

Cameron hasn’t touched another piece of garlic bread. His hands are clenched on the sides of his chair and a muscle is feathering in his jaw, but he has no reason to be upset when he’s all but shoving me into Mark’s arms. Sure, he was up front and honest about not wanting a relationship, but I thought we’d at least be exclusive while we explored.

He’s probably beenexploringwith the redhead and Jessica from the park too.

If this is how he wants it to be, then fine.

Two can play that game,Cameron.

Turning to give my brother a dazzling smile, I say, “I was hoping he’d ask you. I’d love for you to give him my number. I’m long overdue for a date.”

“Awesome,” he replies. “I’ll text him after dinner, then.”

I continue to force a smile the entirety of our meal, but I can hardly eat. My heart is shattering, and just as I predicted, I’m a crumpled up piece of paper.

I said there’d be no expectations, but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t. I thought this was the time Cameron would go back to the boy I used to know, and now that we finally crossed the line of intimacy, I assumed it meant something.

But just like all the times before, I’m left disappointed, and I have no one to blame but myself and the false perception I have of the boy sitting beside me.

And this time, when Cameron goes to put his hand back on my knee, I slap it away.

Sixteen

Cameron

It’s almost nine, and after three rounds ofCall of Dutywith Ethan, I’m tired as hell. During training weeks I’m normally in bed by eight, but even if I tried to sleep right now it wouldn’t be possible. Not with my mind racing with thoughts of Maddie and what a fuckup I was at dinner tonight.

I should have told her about Mark the second I left the gym, but even if I had reached out, I don’t know what I’d have said. It’s not like I can claim her as mine. Everything is so new between us, and we haven’t exactly established boundaries. Maybe she wanted to explore with me andonlyme for the remainder of break. Maybe pushing her in Mark’s direction was the wrong thing to do.

Maddie is an emotional girl, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s something I can’t offer in return. I haven’t been in tune with that side of myself in so long that I honestly don’t know whether or not it still exists, so it’d be pointless to try to find that version for her when I know this will never work out with us in the long run.

A pillow smacks me in the face, bringing me back to reality. “What the hell is up with you?” Ethan asks. “You’ve been acting weird all day. What gives?”

Racking my brain, I try to come up with some sort of excuse for my mood that doesn’t include his little sister.

“College,” I say with a shrug. “I’m stressed about the pressure on my shoulders. Every time I come home I’m reminded how everyone in this town sees me as theirhometown hero, and it’s a lot to take in. Coach and others claim I’m a shoo-in, but what if I’m not? What if they’re wrong?” I’m not necessarily telling a lie. Thishasbeen weighing on me, I just haven’t wanted to admit it.

“Well, if you flunk out and fail at it, we can always open up that burger stand we talked about when we were younger.” I roll my eyes, but he gets a grin out of me. “All jokes aside, if you fail, it’s not going to be the worst thing in the world. You can move back home and become the best fucking football coach our high school has ever seen, or anywhere else in the country for that matter. You can be a mentor for kids, or you can ditch the football thing completely and do something with your physical education degree? That’s what you’re majoring in, right?”

I nod when he pauses the game, giving me his full attention. “There are plenty of options, and anyone who’s putting pressure on you doesn’t deserve to get an ounce of attention if you do make it to the NFL. Win or lose, you’ll still have me, and that’s what matters, right?”

My throat gets tight as I dip my chin to acknowledge him. “Thanks, man.”

Ethan is the brother I never had. He’s there for me through thick and thin, and although I know he’ll still stick around if this doesn’t pan out, what about everyone else? Would my dad still stay in touch if my football career ended? I don’t have a clue, and the fact I can’t answer that question is its own problem.

“Maybe you need to get laid.” He huffs a laugh, thankfully changing the subject. Right as he finishes his sentence, Maddie walks past his open door. “Maddie,” he calls. She freezes in the middle of the doorway and turns to face us. “Tell Cameron he needs to get laid so that he’ll stop moping around.”

Maddie avoids eye contact with me completely, staring at the floor.

“What?” Ethan waves between the two of us. “Are youbothin shitty-ass moods? What is up with everyone?”

Then Maddie smiles that same grin she had on her face when she blew me this morning, and it takes an enormous amount of effort to avert my gaze. “I’m not in a bad mood, but I don’t think Cam needs any help getting laid. Rumor has it he was satisfied this morning, actually.”

If I had a drink, I’d be choking on it right about now.

“Ohreally?” Ethan spins to face me in his swivel chair. “Who? Sadie?”

Maddie raises her eyebrows expectantly, waiting to hear my answer.

Is this her version of payback?

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