Page 94 of Until I Have You

I think Edwin wanted to link us up since we are both single fathers, but I can’t focus on anything but Abigail and the timer counting down on my friendship with Edwin.

The man, Vince, reaches into the inside of his suit and withdraws a leather case.“Edwin tells me you do wealth management.”

I eye him, then Edwin.Bloody hell, he’s trying to set me up with a client.

Meanwhile I’ve been fucking his daughter.What kind of friend am I?

“I am.”

“You have room on your roster?I’ve been trying to deal with my wife’s assets for a few months now, and it’s…” Vince clears his throat.“Been fucking hell.”

I smile sympathetically.“I can imagine.”

“Thought you two might be a good match.”Edwin claps me on the shoulder.“Of course, Vince will keep his clothes on, but–”

“Christ, Ed,” I mutter, not able to cultivate a laugh.

Vince thankfully has a profound interruption.“Cigars, gentlemen?”

Edwin guffaws.“You read my mind.Dory?You’re in?”

If the idea of food turns my stomach, the idea of smoke filling my mouth does too.“Thank you, but no.”

Vince shrugs.“Suit yourself.”

He slides two cigars out of the case and sets about cutting them.

Edwin, though, is looking at me.“You all right, man?”

I say nothing.

“Sorry.Mate.”

I shake my head.“I’m fine.Just a lot on my mind.”

Edwin leans toward me.“You want to go for a walk down the beach or something?”

“Maybe that’d be good.”I stand, and Edwin starts to follow.I grab his shoulder.“No, you stay.I’ll be all right on my own.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.Just keep an eye on Bonnie for me, would you?”

Edwin smiles.“Of course.Any time.”

Any bloody time.

I feel rotten.I want a piano to fall on me or a sinkhole to open out from beneath me.Preferably both.

“Thanks, mate.”

I leave the tent for the shoreline, kicking off my shoes as I go.The cool sand sinks between my toes.

“Bugger all,” I mutter on a heavy exhale and look out at the ocean.

The night is dark before me, so dark it’s blue.

I remember when my mind used to feel like this.When it felt easier to be swallowed whole than go on.I’m no longer in a state like that.No one needs to fear for my life like they once did.

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