Page 20 of Until I Have You

I let out a nervous laugh.“We’ll see, Bonnie.Abigail’s a grownup, she’s got a lot on her plate.”

Bonnie hops off the front bench.“Okay…”

“Why don’t you say goodbye, hm?”

Bonnie wraps her arms around Abigail.“Bye, Abigail.”

“Bye, Bonnie.I’ll see you soon.”

“You will?”Bonnie gasps.“Really?”

Abigail opens her mouth and looks at me for help.

“It’s an expression, Bon,” I explain and take her small hand in mine.“Look, love, can you go say goodbye to everyone one more time so I can talk with Abigail for a moment.

She yawns again, her shoulders slumping.“Okay.”

We both watch Bonnie disappear down the hall, leaving us well and truly alone.

Abigail wraps her arms around her middle.“What did you, um, want to talk about?”

I clear my throat.“I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier.”

Abigail frowns.

“About you…going into childcare.I just thought–”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.”

“I know you’re a very smart girl.”She’s not a girl, she’s a woman, you moron.“I know your dad worries about you and I… It was misguided, is all.”

Abigail nods.“I understand.”

“I’m sure you’ll find your way.”God, I sound so old with these platitudes.

“You, too.”

My body ticks backward.“Sorry?”

“With the new business and everything?You’re starting from scratch, right?”

I half-laugh if only to conceal my flailing ego.“Yes, I am.You’re right.”

“Between that and, you know, being a dad.That’s a lot of pressure,” she says, almost as if she’s trying to imbue the situations withmorepressure.As if I need any more pressure than I already feel from the circumstances and from my own bloody self.

I narrow my eyes.“Abigail, have I done something to you?”

Abigail smiles.It is both defiant and knowing.Knowing of something I don’t.“No, I ‘m just wishing you well.Can’t I do that?”

Edgy.That was the word Edwin used in the kitchen.

After Abigail left, Edwin apologized again.“She’s wrapped up in her own little world.Can’t see beyond herself a lot of the time.She’s the youngest, was the only girl for a long time…”

And I’d defended her.“She’s making her way.Won’t be forever.”

Now, her edginess is directed squarely at me.And unlike earlier, I wouldn’t say I wholly deserve it.

I did apologize after all.

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