Page 2 of Until I Have You

“Good.Fine.”

Miserable.

I’m a single girl in my mid-twenties still living with my dad and his new wife and their twins who aren’t even a year old yet.

Jobless and stuck at home, I’m a glorified free babysitter half the time.

I love them all to death, but I wish I could be living my dream, starting my life as an independent adult who is ready to focus on a career and maybe even find someone to share dreams with.

Swallowing the sigh or sob stuck in my throat, I shake myself out of it.

Maybe this is it, the moment my life changes.

“How about you?Busy?”

“So busy,” Moriah grunts and rolls her eyes.“We’ve taken in these blue tang from a hoarding situation, and it’s been hellish keeping an eye on them and trying to get them healthy.”

I wish that were me too.I wish I could be part of it.Please tell me I can.Please….

“That sounds challenging.”I run my thumb down the slick side of my coffee.

Moriah glances down at my coffee, then back at me.And my heart shatters.

“So, I passed on your materials a couple weeks ago.And I wanted to tell you in person just how close it was, Abigail.”

My throat is threatening to choke me.

The hardest part about this rejection being face to face from a friend, instead of over email or a phone call I let go to voicemail, is that I can’t hide.Can’t pretend it doesn’t affect me.

“We had a position opening for supervising in the cetacean wing.Which, I know isn’t your specialty, I know your focus is in aquatic birds, but I pulled for you because I know you could do anything.Really.”

It all sounds like bullshit.Like she’s trying to let me down easily.I nod.Once.

“I know they called your references, and you were in the pile, like high up in the pile.”

I knew this was going to happen.They probably saw my name, crosschecked it with their backlist, and immediately tossed me out.It wouldn’t be the first time and most likely, won’t be the last.

“But…” I egg her on.

Moriah sighs.“They went internal.”

Sure, they did.

“I’m sorry.”

I smile, a placid exterior compared to the chaos of my mind in which the next ten years roll out in front of me.Barren.A failure.

I set my goal into having an established career before I think of starting a family.

It will take a long time to get where I want to be before I can even consider slowing down, looking for love, starting a family.

And every month that passes, that my first goal gets delayed, feels like another nail in the coffin of my dream life.

I’m young.I know I am.There’s time.

But in a job market like this, it feels hopeless.Endless.Impossible.

“It’s okay, Moriah.Just try and keep me in mind?”I push to my feet.

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