Page 3 of Until I Have You

Her eyes widen as I get up.“Don’t you want to have a coffee and talk?Or–”

“I have to go.”I force a smile.“But thanks so much, Moriah.Seriously.”

I grab my full iced latte and give her a limp wave before moving as fast as I can out of the café.I toss the full latte into the trash, knowing I won’t be able to stomach it right now, and navigate through the rest of the aquarium.

This place used to be my salvation, my haven.

When my mom and dad were breaking up, I could come here and feel the embrace of the ocean.When I didn’t get into my first-choice university, I could come here and remember my calling.When my older brother Nate left New York without notice and didn’t speak to any of us for years, I could come here and feel connected to him through our love of water.

And then grad school ruined everything.The magic got broken.

I wanted this so bad.I knew I’d be good at it, too.And I was smart enough to do it too.

But then I got a look at the other side of this life.

All the politics behind the scenes.The sucking up and brown nosing.The forced networking friendships.The flirtations from older men in power you know you don’t like, but don’t know how to reject for fear they’ll ruin everything.

And they do ruin everything.

I keep my head down as I plow through the families ogling the jellyfish displays and the children tapping the glass to get the attention of slow-moving groupers, my eyes blurring with tears.

I pass the seahorse alcove, paying no mind to it as I past, until a small sniffle makes me pause.I back up a few steps and look inside.

It seems empty at first but upon a closer inspection, there’s a little girl standing at the center of the circular room with her hands over her eyes, her shoulders shaking.

She’s completely alone.

She wouldn’t be the first little kid to get lost here.Happened to me once, when I was desperate, so desperate, to look at the otters that I bolted from my mom and ran all the way there only to realize she hadn’t been able to keep up.

I glance around, looking for a docent.Usually, this place is crawling with workers, but all the blue-vested aquarium workers seem to be elsewhere.

If I walk away and try to find someone, I might lose her.

I step into the alcove.“You okay, honey?”

The little girl jumps and lifts her head.

Her big, blue eyes tremble with unshed tears.She seals her mouth together.Gosh, she’s a little thing.Couldn’t be more than six or seven, I imagine.

I take a step to come a bit closer, but not too close.“Are you lost?”

She looks around herself to the tanks of seahorses like her answer exists with them.

“You got separated from your mom?”

“My dad,” she says quietly, but nods.

I shouldn’t have assumed, I know better than that.“You remember the last place you saw your dad?”

Her face squeezes together, and she starts crying again.She must be overwhelmed.

I crouch down, getting a little closer so I can show her I’m safe without scaring her off.“I’ll help you find him.Is that okay?”

She wipes away her tears with the backs of her hands and then nods, making the ribbons in her ponytail bounce.

“Okay, good.Good.I’m Abigail.What’s your name?”

The little girl braces her arms around her waist.

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