Page 23 of Until I Find You

“Yeah, about that…”

Camilla sticks her chopsticks into the carton of noodles. “You didn’t call her, did you?”

I purse my lips.

“Jack…”

“I know, okay. I just…”I’m scared. “Look, if we’re down there, I can just pop by and say hello.”

“If I were your mom and you didn’t tell me you’d be in town until you were already there, and I didn’t have a chance to cook you a nice dinner or put you up for the night or something, I’d be so upset.”

Oh, sweet Camilla. “Yeah, my mom isn’t like that. She’s…well, like I said, it’s complicated.”

Camilla is quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry.” She lowers her eyes again before picking up her chopsticks again. “It’s your mom, your business. I get it, family stuff is weird.”

I watch her rummage through the container of lo mein. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should just call ahead. Who knows, maybe mom’ll surprise me?

I check my watch. Almost nine here, so it should be around three there. Don’t have an excuse that it would be an inappropriate time to call. “Look, if it is so important to you, I’ll call.”

Camilla’s eyes fly to mine, shining. She grins and it lights something inside me up.

I grab my phone out of my back pocket and scroll through my calls. The last time my mom and I talked was…a month ago. Because I called. The time before that, I don’t even remember. I try not to let that get me down but sometimes, I wonder if she even remembers I exist outside my phone calls.

I tap the contact and press the phone to my ear. It rings once. Twice. “She might not pick up.”

I’m not even sure if I want her to.

“She will, you’ll see.” She almost bounces in her seat, clapping her hands before she seems to catch herself and sets her hands on the island, as if smoothing the surface.

I imagine her hands running along my shoulders and that causes a cascade of relief through my body.

I almost forget the ringing tone on my ear.

My mother’s serene voice wafts through the phone like a summer breeze, comforting, yet bittersweet. “Jack, what do you need?”

“Hi, Mama.”

“I don’t have much time. I’m picking up Kelly and Winston from school.”

There’s a pang in my chest. “It’s okay, I only need a minute.”

“What is it,keiki?”

Camilla leans forward. Not sure if she’s trying to listen or if she’s on the edge of her seat.

I turn my eyes away from her. I underestimated how vulnerable I’d feel talking to my mother in front of her.

When my mother calls mekeiki,it makes me feel like I’m hers, and yet she puts me at a distance with school pickups and rushed sentences. “I’m visiting the Big Island.”

“Oh? When?”

“Flying in tomorrow, actually,” I say. “I’m buying a coffee plantation.”

My mother laughs. “About time!”

I smile to myself.

“How long will you be here?”

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