Page 102 of Until I Find You

In this state, Jack will give me anything. We both know it.

And if I want to pretend, he’ll pretend too.

“Fine,” he says. “Fine, we’ll…fine.”

It’s not fine, that’s clear from the way his words come out all clenched and frustrated.

Jack helps me to my feet. His grip is angry. Not painful. Insistent and…

Disappointed.

But we have work to do.

After work, I can feel.

After work, I can let it sink in that I might be having Daddy’s baby.

22

JACK

I can’t even lookat her.

It’s too painful.

Her typing is louder than ever, though, as everyone fields their opinions about the hibiscus latte.

I can’t pretend. Can’t fake a smile. Can’t laugh at the stupid joke Nate is making at Mason’s expense or the retort Laney has locked and loaded.

How can I when the woman I love can’t stomach the idea of having my baby?

Of course, it’s scary. I’m terrified.

When we returned to the table, Camilla laughed it off.Laughed.

“Sorry, I was just so nervous,” she told everyone. And that endeared her to them even more.

I would have loved their reaction if my feelings weren’t in a frenzy.

An accident…I promised myself no child of mine would ever be an accident. It would be planned and set out, we’d have sex at the right time, plan out her cycle, and when we finally got those pretty pink lines on the test, it would be such a relief, such a celebration. And that’s the story we’d tell our child.

How wanted they were.

I didn’t give myself a fighting chance with that. I agreed from the beginning to go bare with her. Always finish inside her.

It was too good, too tempting.

So, it didn’t follow the plan. Fine.

Just because it was an accident doesn’t mean our child has to be a mistake.

My heart doubled,tripledin size when she brought up the possibility.

And immediately deflated when her reaction was…anything but good.

She was scared. Angry maybe. Don’t want to talk about it, wanted to put her head down and get back to work. As she always does.

Not a drop of happiness that she might be carrying my baby at this very moment.

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