Page 108 of Until I Find You

Dr. Harvey’s eyes narrow from behind her thick-lensed glasses. “Mm. All right. Yes.” A smile spreads across her face. “It’s always so hard to maintain a neutral expression when things look good.”

As she turns the screen toward us, I lift myself onto my elbows, more than eager to see what she’s been seeing.

And it’s plain as day. A little bean with what looks like arms and legs. Tiny and not quite babylike. There’s a pulsing blot of gray. The heart. Beating at a really fast pace.

“Baby’s about nine weeks now. Perfect timing for your first ultrasound,” Dr. Harvey says. “Well done, I suppose. Although that means you need to get on your prenatals as soon as possible and…”

Her voice drifts into the background as I watch the image, listen to the pulsing beat.

The want to cry fades into the background. All I feel is happiness. A smile spreads across my face.

The fear dissolves.

Because my body didthat. My body madethat. With Jack’s help of course, but my body already knows what to do.

I was made to be the mother to this baby.

So, I will not let the fear get in the way of the joy. Because our baby is a miracle. It really is. Doesn’t matter that we weren’t trying, or we didn’t have to work hard at it. Our bodies collided and took our love and made it…

Jack sighs. “Wow.”

I look up at him, smiling. Grinning. And I watch the smile slide onto his face, the one he was holding back, unsure if I would welcome it or it would scare me.

Our smiles match. The joy matches.

“How did we get here?” I ask.

Jack chuckles and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I don’t know. By accident.”

We might have both been accidents in our right. However, that isn’t our destiny. We have taken pain and transformed it into something beautiful. Our baby might be an accident, but we have a chance to do what was not done for us.

Dr. Harvey gives us a potential due date. A summer baby. And, because we’re still in a state of shock over everything, we make a follow-up appointment for next week so that we can come prepared with questions.

For now, prenatals. And take it easy.

Which won’t be so easy being in the throes of opening with Keiki. But that’s a problem for Camilla tomorrow.

Today, I’m going to enjoy my brand-new reality.

I’m going to be a mom. And I’m doing it with the best man I’ve ever met.

I’m alreadytwo months pregnant without even realizing it. The entire ride home, I’m touching my stomach, trying to feel the changes in my body.

Dr. Harvey reassured me it’s normal for a first pregnancy to take a while before I’m showing, but it’s my body, shouldn’t I feel the change?

The longer I have my hands against my stomach, the more connected I feel to my baby.

To my annoyance, I can’t stop thinking about her.

My mother.

I glance at Jack in the driver’s seat. He keeps shifting his hands on the wheel as if he can’t get comfortable.

There’s so much to do. I know he’s trying to make lists of what needs to be done in his head, but most likely before he’s able to finish a thought, another one takes its place. At least that is what is happening inside my head.

“Jack?”

“Hm? You okay?” he asks, throwing me a look, worry in his eyes.

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