Page 10 of Risking it All

Ariel twirled a lock of my hair in her fingers. “I like the unpredictable. You have to admit, until February, our lives have been standard cookie cutter.”

“I liked cookie cutter.”

“I know, and I thought I hated cookie cutter until I saw you in that ICU bed.”

I had two choices. Figure out how to ram past this wall built up around February and talk about what happened or fake being the old Macie because I couldn’t handle hurting my family anymore. If I could fake being the old Macie then at least Dad wouldn’t see me as breakable, vulnerable, and fragile. “Do you think Mom and Dad know Gianna’s changed?”

“I don’t think Gianna’s parents know she’s changed.” She lifted her head from my shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

That I hated my life. “If I go to the party with Gianna, my parents will think I’m returning to my normal life. They won’t know it’s a wild party. They’ll assume it’s a Gianna party.”

Ariel frowned. “You would have been miserable at this party before February. You think you can handle going to it now?”

Nope. “What choice do I have?”

“Your parents definitely wouldn’t want you forcing yourself to do something that would make you feel worse. And if your dad finds out what type of party this is, he’ll lose his mind. He’s been super strict on rules with you since high school, and I can’t imagine he’s going to give you high fives if he finds out what you’re really doing.”

“Like your parents know what you’re really doing,” I countered.

“You’re not me,” Ariel said with no malice, and I took no offense, because she was right. We were two different people. “Plus, my dad isn’t nearly as strict as yours.”

I switched back to the real problem. “What my parents really want is for me to talk about February and that’s obviously not happening. This is my second-best option.”

“I don’t want you to do anything that would make you more miserable.”

“What happened to the I-should-go-to-the-party-and-kiss-Relic pep talk?”

“It sounded like a good idea if I were there to watch your back and slap people who weren’t nice to you.”

“I can take care of myself.” From the way Ariel looked at me, she didn’t believe me. That was okay because I didn’t believe me either. Dad was correct about me—I had no idea how to handle myself outside of my manicured lawn neighborhood. “I can’t keep hurting my parents. Before February, I already felt like Dad hated me half the time. Now, it’s worse.”

Ariel sighed heavily as she took her phone out of her back pocket and typed.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Threatening Gianna within an inch of her life if she lets you out of her sight for even a second. Then I’m texting a few other people that I trust to keep an eye on you.” Her phone dinged. “Oh, look, Gianna isthrilledyou’re going. Like thrilled.Oh my God, this girl can text. A simple yes would have sufficed. Seriously, why did you choose her as your other best friend?”

I nudged Ariel’s shoulder. “Thanks for having my back.”

“I wish I could be there tonight to actually have it,” she mumbled as she typed. “I expect updates, Macie. Like every-ten-minutes updates.”

“You’ll be on a plane heading to Europe.”

“My grandparents are sinfully rich. I’ll act all innocent and beg for them to pay for internet on the flight. And I’m serious about my threat to Gianna. Remind her I’ve served time in detention for fighting.”

I snorted but the detention for fighting was completely true. I stood and Ariel glanced up. “Where are you going?”

“To inform my family I’m returning to the land of the living.”

Chapter five

Relic

Text on my phone:The first monthly payment for summer childcare is due on Monday. All past balances are due at this time. Enrollment will be affected by unpaid balances. If you need financial assistance, please contact our office.

Summer daycare was $580 a month. That was on top of the $300 for afterschool care for the month of May—another payment I was currently late on. Here was the thing about financial assistance—we were already on it. The cost of reliable and safe childcare sucked.

Now, if I were okay with Camila being drugged into naptime by a junkie employee, or tied to her cot when they got tired of watching the kids, or if I dumped her into a place where they encouraged fight clubs every Thursday so the employees could bet on the winners (all real things that have happened by the way), then yeah, we could possibly pay our monthly childcare bills. But I loved Camila enough to not want her to be a Mad Max character before the apocalypse finally happened.

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