Page 2 of Ink & Desire

“Crazy is an understatement, A,” she says, her voice incredulous.

I roll my eyes. “It’s not like I’m robbing banks or something. I’m just trying something new.”

“Trying something new is…like, getting pink highlights or deciding to bring back low-rise jeans. It’s not uprooting your life and moving to a new city to become a tattoo apprentice. I mean, did you have to move all the way to Boston?”

I ignore the way her voice shifts to a tone of something bordering on disgust when she says 'tattoo apprentice'. Cassidy isn’t a snob. Not really. Well, she’s less of a snob than anyone else I know. She’s my best friend. She can be a little judgmental. But then, so can I sometimes. Anyone who says they don’t judge is lying, at least a little. But at least she listens to me and tries to understand what I’m going through. That’s more than I can say for a lot of other people in my life.

I sigh because this has been a point of contention between us since I first told her my plan. “We’ve been over this, Cass,” I say. “You know there was no way I could do this back home and keep it under wraps.”

“I know,” she grumbles. “But you could have stayed in New York for the summer.”

It’s an argument we’ve had multiple times in the month since I left New York for Boston. It’s true that I could have stayed in New York for a few more months. Icould have spent the summer with Cass, pretending we were both still wild, free college kids. But, as much as I love my bestie, I need to try to make something of my own before settling into the life my family designed for me.

“We had to grow up eventually, Cass,” I say, my voice gentle.

“I know, A,” she says, her tone more sympathetic now. “But this? You don’t know shit about tattoos. You don’t evenhaveany tattoos.”

I shrug, even though I know she can’t see me. I pull my car into an empty spot just down the block from Elemental Ink Tattoos and take a deep breath, hoping Cass can’t hear it through the phone. Not that she doesn’t know I’m nervous. I’d be an idiot not to feel at least a little bit nervous.

“You don’t need to have a tattoo to learn how to create them,” I say.

Cass sighs into the phone. She’s been my best friend since freshman year of college, so she’s used to most of my crazy ideas by now. Usually, she’s right there beside me, encouraging me to go for it. Hell, there have been plenty of times when I’ve had to be the voice of reason and talk her out of some wild scheme. This is one of those rare times when she’s the one encouraging me to be cautious. But she doesn’t understand. She’s got her dream job all lined up. She’s doing exactly what she always wanted to do.Andher family is proud of her for it. Unfortunately, things are different for me.

“Maybe you don’t need to have tattoos to create them, but have you ever even set foot inside a tattoo studio?”

I feel my stomach twist uncomfortably at her question. She knows damned well I’ve never been inside a tattoo studio. A couple of years ago, the two of us had tossed around the idea of getting matching tattoos. We spent hours online searching for the perfect tattoo design and researching the best artists. It’s how I found out about Elemental Ink in the first place. In the end we chickened out, both of us realizing that girls from families like ours don’t get tattoos. Girls from families like ours get Range Rovers and become trophy wives. Not that the idea of being someone’s trophy wife has ever appealed to me.

I never told Cass, but I never really let go of the idea of breaking away from the life I was born into and making my own path. I never gave up on the dream of being the type of girl who could walk into a tattoo studio and let someone permanently mark my body.

“There’s a first time for everything,” I say, trying to sound confident, rather than anxious.

Cass sighs. “I’m not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?”

“Nope,” I say.

“Fine,” she says. “You know I just want what’s best for you, right?”

“I know.”

“And you really think this is what you’re supposed tobe doing?”

I think about what lies ahead for me if this doesn’t work. My future has been laid out for me since I was in the womb. I’ve been groomed since birth to take over my family’s foundation one day. It’s not the worst fate, I know. I’ve lived a life of luxury for the entire 24 years I’ve been alive. I’ve never gone without. I’ve never had to worry about money or material things. Even with the tough times I’ve gone through, it’s nothing compared to what so many other people deal with. Having money spared me from the worst of it, even during some of the hardest times of my life.

I know it’s made me spoiled, at least a little. No matter how grounded I tried to be, I know some of that privilege seeped into my personality. There are any number of people who would kill to be in my position, I know. It seems hypocritical to complain about my privilege while I continue to benefit from it. But I don’t fit there. I’ve always known it, even if my family can’t quite see it.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Cass,” I say with a sigh. “But I know what I’m not supposed to be doing. And I can’t settle for that life without at least trying out a different one first.”

There are a few seconds of silence before she speaks.

“Okay, but tattooing? You know your mom will flip her shit, right?”

I nearly laugh at the idea of my overprotective mother finding out her sweet, innocent daughter is apprenticed at a tattoo shop. I’d bet money that Meredith BradshawScott has never stepped a toe inside a tattoo shop. It would never occur to her.

“That’s why she’s not going to find out,” I say. “If this works out, all she’ll know is that I’m interning with an obscure artist before I turn into the happy little drone she wants me to be.”

My stomach rolls at the idea of working for the foundation for the rest of my life. Just the thought of a lifetime of matching pants suits, business lunches, and fake smiles is enough to make me want to scream. I don’t know how anyone lives that way. I want more from my life.

“It’s not as bad as that,” she laughs. “You’re so dramatic.”

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