Page 53 of Quiet Chaos

“Mhmm. So, that’s putting you off?”

“If I’m obsessing over all the horrible things that can happen, maybe it’s God’s way of telling me not to do it.”

“God isn’t telling you anything. You decide.”

I shiver and look away. “What if I decide to and he wants to put it in my butt?”

Patsy smacks the table and howls at my comment. “Sky! Stop thinking about Lashes and Howler. Not everyone is into their kinks. And if it ever came to something you didn’t want to do, you say no, and no questions asked.”

“Cade says the Old Ladies do whatever to make their men happy.”

“Yes, things the women want to do. They don’t force it on us. You have control over what you do as much as Cade does. Never forget that.”

She taps her chin, her eyes roam my body, and says, “Come on now. When we’re finished baking, we’re going lingerie shopping.”

It’s mid-afternoon as we’re walking into the mall. Patsy pulls me into a store. Bras, underwear, and more cover the walls and racks. The material is delicate and thin.

She looks at me, takes some skimpy outfits off the racks, and we go into the dressing room.

“Try these on.” I blink at her when she closes the curtain and sits on the little bench. “What? If you’re worried about me seeing you half-naked, what are you going to do when Cade sees your tight ass?”

“Patsy! Shhh.”

She laughs. “Sky, your naiveté is endearing, but not right now. Strip, girl!”

I turn my back to her and remove my shirt. With a peek over my shoulder, I pull my pants down. My one arm covers my chest and the other, my pelvic area.

“Here.” Because I’m trying to cover myself, I can’t grab at what she’s holding out to me. “Turn around, Sky. Take the bra and underwear and put them on over your garments.” I let out a breath and face her. She gasps and says, “Did you steal your underwear from some grannie?” I giggle.

I’m tired from all the lingerie she has me try on. Patsy reacts by saying, “Damn, girl, Cade is going to blow a load when he sees you.”

After the day we had, I tell Patsy I plan on having sex with Cade on his birthday. It will be part of my gift to him. She squeals and jumps around, which encourages me to do the same.

She stops jumping and says, “Sky, it’s okay if you’re not ready. I want you to understand that.”

In my room, I place the bags on the closet floor. “No, I think I am.”

“Make sure you are, because if you tell Cade you want to have sex, go through with it. As much as he respects your decisions, you can’t play with his emotions and physical desires.”

Until his birthday, I watch videos, shave, and figure out which lingerie to wear. I need to be ready. Like Patsy said, if I pursue it, I shouldn’t change my mind because I’m scared. It wouldn’tbe fair to Cade. So, I must be positive I want sex. The day before his birthday, Cade, Reed, and a few others go on a run. This provides an opportunity for me to get comfortable with my body for the first time. My fingers journey down between my thighs and the sensation is daunting and arousing. If this is what it feels like with me doing it, I can’t imagine the sensation Cade’s finger would create. Maybe it’s something he doesn’t like. Patsy said he is an in and out kind of guy. I guess I’ll find out what kind of guy he’ll be with me.

25

“Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it's time to drink.” Haruki Murakami

Cade - February 2020

A hum of a touch wakes me to find Sky sitting on her heels holding a gift in her hand. Her tousled morning hair and half-lidded eyes boost my morning wood. I pull myself up to sit against the headboard, cover my lap with a pillow, and reach for her cheek. The back of my fingers stroke her softness. She is an angel. Waking to her every morning is euphoric.

She has a rooted smile on her face as she says, “Happy Birthday, Cade.”

Sky hands me the gift in her lap. I appreciate it, I do, but having her as a gift would be the ultimate. To be between her thighs, inhaling and tasting her sweetness. I press down on the pillow and rub my eyes to snuff out my fantasy.

I tear the bow off the top of the gift along with the paper. Inside is a book,The Best of Peter, which is a pretty damn cool gift, and Gabriel engraved on a bourbon glass. I let out a laugh. This is my Pious Princess’s way of saying what a skilled conversationalist I am, while referencing her religion. I’ve grown to like it.

I tap the end of her nose. “These are great.”

“Do you like them, or are you just being kind?”

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