Page 78 of Shattered

I glance back to Lila in a penetrating sleep, and my heart fucking shatters. Some part of me believes that he’s right. She will be better off.

“She’ll be taken care of,” he reassures me.

I believe him. It’s the only reason I turn and walk out the door.

I don’t make it far on my damn leg. I end up in a long, quiet hallway, sitting on a bench, attempting to massage the pain away, but it won’t go. Eventually, I give up and lean my head against the wall, shutting my eyes. I let myself go numb, lost in my mind. There’s no room in me left for the grief coursing through my veins, and it comes out in the form of tears and pained grunts.

“Sir, do you need help?”

I open my eyes to find an older, large woman in scrubs with concern in her eyes. But I only shake my head, unable to speak. She seems to understand and walks off, looking disappointed.

Everything seems so clear now. I’m at a crossroads. If I go left, if I get my leg taken care of, and let it the fuck go, I can try to be the person Lila needs me to be. If I go right, I keep going the way I am…

Well, I fucking can’t.

There’s no way for me to ever make this up to Lila. And she may never forgive me for this. This is when Bane would come in and call me a fucking idiot and tell me to get my damn leg checked, start using something to walk, and get the fuck over it. And he would be right. All these mistakes I’ve made have ruined everything.

It’s time for me to become the man I need to be. And maybe, just maybe, this man will be good enough for Lila to forgive.

It costs me an arm and a bum fucking leg to get back to Alton with no car. Once I get home, I head to the hospital, finding the parking lot full, with no handicap spaces available. I pull the car to the front, where a worker stands outside in a vest. I roll down the window as I approach and wave him down, wanting him to walk up so I don’t have to shout.I don’t know why this is so fucking hard.

“Yes, sir?” the man asks as he approaches the window.

“I’m going to need a wheelchair to get inside. Can you help me out with that?”

“Yes, sir, I can bring one out for you.”

“Thanks,” I say, feeling a breath of relief.

He finds the car quickly and parks the wheelchair where I can transfer into it. I don’t want to walk another step on the fucking thing when I’m in this much pain, and it could be damaged. For the first time in my life, I need to be responsible and not think of just myself.

“Do you know if Dr. Ramos is working today?” I ask the man as he pushes me through the parking lot.

He chuckles behind me. “Dr. Ramos? He’s always working.”

“Good. I need to see him.”

The man helps me navigate the hospital, and I ask if he can park me where I can find Ramos. He’s in the Gastroenterology and Liver Unit. I wait for a few minutes in an empty waiting room and getquestioned twice by the cranky receptionist, who says he’s about to leave for the night. I tell her I just need to speak to him.

Eventually, he comes out with a backpack over his shoulder. He slows when he spots me, and for the third time today, I have to ask someone for help.

“Asher? What are you doing here?” he asks in surprise, his eyes flickering down to the wheelchair.

I sigh. “I figured you’d be in the ER.”

“I’m a Hepatologist, but I work in the ER sometimes. What’s going on?”

It’s like a plug is pulled from my mouth, and everything falls out.“I’ve been through hell, and I fucked my leg up. I need help.” My voice breaks at the end, and even more fucking tears start pouring from my eyes. I must be dehydrated as fuck by now.

Ramos frowns, nodding sadly at me. “Let’s go get an X-ray.”

Ramos takes over and brings me to radiology himself. To my relief, he doesn’t speak again until we’re alone in an empty room, and he helps me get ready for the X-ray.

“What happened?” he asks.

I only shake my head. If I open my mouth, I’m going to scream until I bust every window in this room.

“I’ve paged Dr. Lannick from Ortho, but it looks like you have a few rebreaks.”

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