Page 77 of Shattered

Chapter 29

Asher

Lila lets us help her into the bathroom, and then we give her some privacy, remaining outside the closed door. Once she’s finished, we get her back to bed. Her movements are so heavy; she’s so weak. The poor girl looks like absolute crap.

And I did this to her.

She’s exhausted, and after the nurse checks on her, she falls back to sleep with us sitting on either side of her, watching over her. My leg fucking kills, and Turner must figure that out by the amount I’m fidgeting in place, desperate for the slightest relief of pain, but it doesn’t come.

“Is your leg alright?”

It’s funny how the last time he asked me that, I broke his car mirror. The thoughts bring me right back to Bane and nearly take meout. I haven’t registered that he’s gone. He’s been my best friend for years, and now he’s just gone. And it’s all my fault.

“It fucking hurts,” I admit, my voice breaking. Now that Lila’s safe, I can think straight and feel the shame sinking in.

“My friend, Macy, was kidnapped a couple of years ago, and my best friend, Gareth, almost died saving her. If I’d lost him, I think I’d burn down the entire fucking world.”

“Would you shut up?” I snap, tears burning in my eyes that I try to hide.

“Are you going to avoid this, too? Like you’ve avoided your leg?”

“Turner, I may be crippled, but I still have two fists that work just fine.”

“Is that what you need? Then let’s go. Outside, right now,” Turner says coldly.

I roll my eyes. “Get bent.”

If looks could kill, the glare that Turner hits me with would dissolve me.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but clearly, you haven’t learned a damn thing,” he growls, jabbing a finger toward Lila. “This isyourfault.Youdid this to her. And don’t think just because we saved her together that we’re friends. I don’t like you, I don’t trust you, and until you grow the fuck up and stop avoiding your issues, you will never get anywhere with her.”

“What, you think you can keep her away from me?”

“No, but she can. You think she can deal with this and you at the same time? She’s hanging on by a thread!”

I shake my head, frustration burning me to the core. I need to throw my head to the sky and scream. This is such a mess. I let out an angry grunt as I bury my face in my hands.

“Deal with me… She’s dealt with me just fine until now!”

“And look where we are. Your best friend is dead, and Lila’s not much better.”

There it is. The moment my heart shatters.

I’ve tried so hard to shove it down to deal with it later, but Turner hits me with it like a punch, chilling my blood. Because he’s right, this is my fault. They took her to hurt me because I was an idiot. Because even back then, I couldn’t accept my limp. It wasn’t bad, and it was probably temporary. I couldn’t face it, and because of that, I fucked Raven and had my leg fucked, which is why I left Kingston and why Rocco and Rooney came after me. I roped Bane into helping, and now he’s dead. I should have just said no to Jared’s tattoo, but I didn’t, and now he’s dead too. But worst of all, Lila.

They tortured her. She was put through an unthinkable amount of pain. She was so scared. How does a person get over something like that? And who the fuck am I to add one more problem for her? My leg.

Not just my leg…Me.

How many times have I yelled at her? Violated her, even if some part of her did want it.

When my eyes meet Turner’s again, all his hatred pierces me.

“Leave, Asher.”

I shake my head, more tears filling my eyes. “How can I leave her now?”

“Because she’ll be better off without you.”

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