Page 70 of Liam

I nodded.

"Fuck, Jamal. What a mess." He struggled to his feet. "Do you want tea?"

"Decaffeinated. I'm going to have enough trouble sleeping."

I was fully absorbed in playing through how I was going to walk away from Liam when Warren returned with two mugs of tea. He'd already dressed mine with milk and sugar.

I didn't finish it.

I needed to think. It would be light enough for a while longer for me to go to my favourite park overlooking the sea. I pulled my car into Macaulay Point Park and unloaded my wheelchair. Normally, I would have brought my all-terrain chair, but I could manage without it.

I rolled along the paved walkway and up the ramp to the gravel trail. A short distance along, I turned to face the steep grassy cliffs and incoming tide and parked. There had been achance I could get away without telling Liam about the assault, but that would've eaten at me.

I'd never lied to him. I couldn't imagine ever lying to him. That wasn't the foundation we'd been building together. What the hell was I going to tell him?

I imagined Liam's expression if he found out I held back on crucial information before agreeing to be his boyfriend. I couldn't bear it. I'd be devastated.

He'd be devastated.

Maybe betrayal would be too strong a word—but there might be disgust.

I lifted my phone and called him.

"Hey, beautiful." His voice was sultry and smooth.

My throat closed over, sticky and thick. Even my breathing suffered, heavy in my chest.

"What's the matter?" he asked, sounding so damned worried. And I was just about to crush him. I was going to tell this sweet man it was over between us.

"I've been thinking," I started.

"About what?"

"Us."

Liam was silent for far too long. He was expecting me to clarify.

"I need time to think," I said, copping out. Deep down, I wanted to keep a door open. Couldn't imagine not keeping a passageway clear to return through.

"Think about what?"

"Us." I changed the phone to my other ear. That wasn't an answer. "We moved so fast."

"I think we moved at exactly the right speed."

I sighed because he was right. "There are things you don't know about me." Might as well give him a partial truth and not leave him without an explanation. "Things you'd never understand."

"What kind of things?"

"See, that's the thing. I don't want to say."

"We talk about everything, Jamal. That's one of our things. Please, talk to me."

"I can't, Liam."

"We've shared so much about ourselves with one another. Why is this different?"

"It just is."

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