Page 67 of Adrift

Gravel screeches. The cart lurches to the side as Carter yanks the steering wheel to keep us on the road. I yelp, grabbing onto the nearest handle as Felix swears under his breath and slams right into me.

Carter hits the brakes, and we all lurch to a stop.

“Fox!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Felix moans, rubbing Carter’s arm. Then he glances sheepishly at me. “This is why I don’t drive.”

I snort with laughter, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Maybe I’ll walk after all,” I tell them, which makes them both laugh.

Then I glance once more over my shoulder, taking in the poster Felix pointed out.

Ugh. Like I need any more reminders.

I already saw half a dozen of those posters—at the top of the ferry wharf, and in the window of the coffee shop, and stapled to telephone poles.

All over the island, my smiling face glows softly as I gaze at the man I know is just out of frame. It makes my heart twist and pull apart into fragments to think this, but… he might be out of the picture forever.

“Hey. Out we get,” Felix tells me, shoving my shoulder as I blink.

Oh. We’re at the orchard already.

My job comes in handy sometimes. I can answer small talk without even thinking about it. But I barely even noticed the rest of the drive, I was so caught up in…

Well, everything between me and Gage.

“Thanks for the ride,” I tell Carter, sliding out so Felix can hop to the ground after me. I slowly walk through the little white gate that’s propped open, looking around for anyone.

I think we’re the first to show up. I don’t see any signs of anyone—not even Gage.

Oh, god.

I’ve never stepped in here and felt so many things all at once. I’m used to being overwhelmed with feelings every time I come within sight of this place. But notthesefeelings. Guilt, fear, worry, you name it. So much yearning that it makes me want to break in two.

And, despite it all, a sliver of hope.

I want to fix things. I just don’t know if I can.

The night apart hasn’t made anything easier. In fact, it feels even harder to walk back into the orchard knowing that things aren’t right between us. And after I left in such a rush last night… I’m not even sure if we’re boyfriends right now.

“This way,” Felix tells me, and when I pivot on the spot, I see him heading up the nearest path. “Come on.”

I sigh and sip my coffee, falling into step behind him. But what Felix doesn’t know is that he chose the path toward the far corner of the orchard, right where Gage and I had our first date.

I don’t know if I can keep it together if I have to see that spot right now.

My throat grows tighter and tighter. When we’re just around the corner, I speed up my pace to get ahead of Felix. Then I turn my back and block his way.

“What is it?”

Felix stumbles to a halt. Then he looks over his shoulder as if to check if we’re alone before relenting with a little sigh. “I don’t know, Kieran. You tell me.”

He sips his coffee and waits as I sputter into silence.

Damn it. I have friends who care, don’t I? And I haven’t the faintest clue how to do this.

I clear my throat and swallow the lump, looking down at the path.

“Berty told him. About my visa.”

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