Page 30 of Stranded

We don’t pull punches with each other. That’s not what best friends do.

“Like you were checking off a to-do list.” Carter puts down his mug to raise his hands, miming a notepad and pen, ticking off items.“Get girlfriend, find a nice 9-to-5, fix up house, have two kids…”

I bristle and frown at him. I know I asked for it, but I don’t like his tone. “What’s wrong with wanting that stuff?”

Carter rolls his eyes. “Cool it,” he tells me. “Nothing. But you’ve never talked aboutwantingthem. The girlfriends or the rest of it.”

Oh.

Now that he’s gotten to the point, my annoyance is simmering down. I guess he’s right. I don’t know if I want all those things. But I do want what they mean to me: a sense of direction and purpose. Knowing what I’m supposed to be doing, what rules to follow. What comes next.

For a long time now, I’ve felt like I’m doing the right things but I’m still lost at sea.

“I figured that’s how it’s works,” I tell him with a shrug. “You pick someone, you commit real hard, and you settle down…”

“Uh huh,” Carter says. “Now imagine all that, but if you gave a fuck.”

“Excuse me?” My eyebrows climb, right along with my temper. I might have hurt people before from not knowing what I wanted, but that doesn’t mean I didn’ttry, damn it. I set down my mug hard. “I always give a fuck?—”

“Bite my head off in a minute if you want,” Carter tells me calmly, not taking the bait. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say something. I bet it’s easier to be Mr. Responsible if you don’t want anything for yourself.”

My jaw drops.

I’m glad Carter isn’t pulling his punches. But sweet Jesus. It feels like I’ve been steering blindly through the fog, and I just found land… the hard way.

“Am I right?” Carter asks. And to his credit, he isn’t even smug. He’s watching me with a frown that tells me he’s been worried about me for a while.

“Dude,” I finally manage. “Dude.”

“Yeah, bro.” Carter relaxes and grins at me. “So I think this guy’s gonna scare the crap out of you, and it’ll be good for you.”

I stare at him, palms slowly roasting around my coffee mug. “Yeah?”

“Ohhh, yeah.” Carter looks way too pleased with himself, raising his coffee again. “Man. I finally see why the managers get off on the post-game debrief. It’s way more fun when you weren’t on the ice.”

When I flip him off, he laughs, and then I finally manage a grin back at him. Then I lean in across the table, suddenly excited. I wish I could figure out how to tell him everything, because I know he’ll get it.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It happened so fast. I saw him, and I just…” I trail off, staring into the distance. Something in me feels different than it did yesterday morning, all bright and eager and excited.

But that sounds stupid to say out loud.

Carter laughs. “You two do anything yet? Please tell me yes.”

“Uh…” I don’t think he means an accidental kiss, even if it rocked my world. “No…?”

Carter grunts. “Let me guess. You’re not sure what you want, and you’re trying not to break his heart. Been there, done that.” He smiles wryly at me. “Nearly fucked it up. Trust me. Take a chill pill and mess around. Explore. Doesn’t mean you have to walk down the aisle… unless you want to.”

Wait a minute. He’s got this little smile on his face all of a sudden.

Holy shit. Is this his way of telling me he’s going to propose to my little brother?

“Doyouwant to?”

“Nuh uh uh. Don’t try that,” Carter folds his arms. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you finally thinking about what makes you happy… even if it’s not what makes Ronan happy. Or me, for that matter. Or anyone else.”

Well,there’sa scary thought.

Before I can cuss him out, footsteps patter down the stairs at top speed.

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