I thought we were past this.
Fury knots in my chest and tightens every muscle in my body. And there’s one thought I just can’t shake. If the door between our apartments had been locked… none of this would have happened.
“A locked door,” I murmur, even if he won’t meet my eyes. “If not outside, then inside.”
Alph flinches, but he doesn’t say anything—he just takes the hit as I take Berty’s hand and step down into the ferry.
My legs still shaking under me, I collapse in the seat next to the luggage rack, keeping my back to the dock.
The boat casts off, and Berty strides to the cockpit. “All right, folks. Let’s get underway…” The engine kicks in.
As the cold salt air whips through my hair, it’s all I can do not to stare over my shoulder at Alph. I clear my throat, nails digging into my knees. Finally, I manage to look up at the handful of fellow passengers on board.
“S-Sorry, guys. For the delay.” I pat my suitcases, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “I really,reallyneeded these today.”
All the sympathetic murmurs and head shakes are too much to bear. Even Berty, renowned for talking people’s ears off, doesn’t say much on the intercom for the whole crossing.
I can’t stop fidgeting with the locks on the suitcase zippers. I’m just grateful they’re still closed and locked—and that my asshole ex-roomies didn’t decide to throw them in the harbour.
Finally, I can’t stop myself. I twist to look over my shoulder. The crowd has dispersed, but Alph is still standing there. He’s still as a statue, one hand shielding his eyes.
My heart twinges, and it feels like I’m breaking into pieces. But even pressing my hand on my chest and rubbing doesn’t help.
He did rescue me… from the situation he created…
I shake my head and gulp the cold air, turning back to face the harbour instead.
Alph trusts people too easily, and I can’t let that rub off on me.
Of all people,Iknow better. But it’s ironic, really. It wasn’t even serial killers in the end. It was so much worse.
Alph’s always trying to be so responsible in every other way. Why not this one little thing? After all these weeks we’ve bothsacrificed, why take the slightest chance that anything could go wrong?
He helped me trust people again… but now that feels like a mistake. I don’t even know if I can trusthim, and that’s the worst feeling I can possibly imagine.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
ALPH
This was all my fault.
After everything we’ve been through together,Iwas the one who nearly screwed Ronan over. So, so,sobadly. And the worst part is exactly how it all went down.
He kept bugging me about locking the fucking doors. I have plenty of excuses, but none of them are good enough. The truth is plain and simple.
I let him down.
There’s no worse feeling than letting someone down about anything, however minor. And this is the biggest possible way I could have let him down. That’s what hurts the most: knowing that Ronan’s right to be furious with me.
I fucked this one up, big-time.
The ferry is long out of sight, but I’m still standing here staring into space.
“Hey. Get in here,” Kieran’s voice pierces the fog in my brain. When I do, he orders me to sit my ass down, and then he presses a glass into my hand.
A beer?