Page 21 of Pretty Broken Things

“Never, but he loves it. Besides, it keeps him on his toes. Shane is a danger to himself when he gets bored.”

“I’ve got just the thing.” I grab her hand and pull her toward the stairs to my room.

Rifling through my drawers I find a tiny, hot pink, string bikini. “Put this on and that should do the trick.”

She reaches inside and pulls out a blue one with an underwire and bottoms with cut outs on the sides. “If you want to make Ford crazy you should put on this. Blue is his favorite color.”

I take it from her. “I don’t think it will take much to make him crazy. In fact, he might be there already.”

Lydia tips her head toward my bathroom. “I’m going to go in there and change. You should go inside that giant room you call a closet, and I’ll meet you down at the pool.”

After we’ve changed we settle down on the loungers near the pool. Lydia pulls her matching pink sunglasses down over her face. “What is it like to be you?”

“Lonely,” I admit without thinking.

She pulls her sunglasses down slightly. “So, not all that different then. At least the atmosphere is better.”

I tip my head back up to the sky. “I guess it’s hard to see outside of your problems when you’re standing in the middle of them.”

“I get that. But, you know what? Right now we’re here, the sun is shining, and neither of us are alone.” She takes off her sunglasses and dives into the pool. When she pops up she splashes me. “C’mon bitch, get in here with me.”

We’re splashing around, trying to dunk each other, and generally acting like children when Ford and Shane let themselves in. Lydia splashes me again, stealing my attention back. “You’ve been keeping secrets. I know for a fact you locked the door when we came in. Does he have a key?” she whisper yells.

“No,” I blurt out, and look over my shoulder to see if they are listening. “He’s just come around here a lot this last week. You know, waiting to see if my dad brings his mom over. He must have seen me put in the code to the front door. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

The teasing look on her face falls off, and she turns serious on me. “Ford never spends this much time with anyone, except for Shane. Trust me, this is a much bigger deal than you realize.”

Shane drops down to the edge of the pool and sticks his feet in the water. He gestures between the two of us. “Is this step two in your plan to get our attention?”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Not everything I do is to get your attention, McKinnick. Maybe I wanted Tessa’s attention.”

He dramatically clutches his chest. “I’ll forgive you if you let me watch.”

She gags. “You’re such a dog. I don’t know what I see in you sometimes.”

He gives her a heated look. “How about you get out of the pool and I’ll show you.”

She turns to look at me, and I know she’s going to ditch me. I roll my eyes. “All the guest rooms are on the first floor.”

Lydia blows me a kiss, and I laugh. Shane drags her out of the pool, leaving me alone with Ford. A tense silence stretches between us. Finally, I break. “What the fuck was that back there? You were talking to Mandi, and I didn’t freak out. The second that you realize I’m not standing around waiting for you whenever you decide to throw some crumbs of attention my way you go all medieval on me and try and lock me away.”

He whips his shirt off over his head, sheds his clothes down to his boxers, and jumps in the pool. Every step he takes toward me, I take one back, until he has me pinned against the side of the pool. “Crumbs? You’ve occupied every single thought I’ve had for days now. This isn’t normal for me. There’s never been a girl I couldn’t walk away from. If it had been any other girl I wouldn’t have given a shit, but the moment he touched your face I wanted to rip his arm off and beat him with it.”

I push against his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Instead he takes hold of my hands and keeps them pressed against his chest. “Are you listening to me, Tessa? I can’t stop thinking about you, and it pisses me off.”

I smile at him. “I do love pissing you off. It’s actually my favorite thing to do.”

“You’re too much. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

I shrug. “You’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m not yours to manage,” I taunt him.

“You seem pretty sure of that.” He lets go of one of my hands, and threads his through my hair. “I don’t think either of us gets a say in this. I’m done fighting how I feel.”

I open my mouth to ask him what he means, but before I can speak he presses his mouth to mine.

His lips are firm and demand my participation. I resist as long as I can, but Ford is relentless. His tongue invades my mouth and caresses mine. He moves my hands around his neck and reaches around behind me to hold me tighter. For the first time in years I feel like I’m anchored in place. He’s breathing life into me, while simultaneously stealing my soul.

I know this is going to hurt. It’s been my experience that the better something feels in the moment, the more devastating it will be when it ends. And everything comes to an end. But, I’m here now. Resisting him won’t make it hurt less when the time comes. Maybe it’s time I steal every bit of happiness I can and lock it deep inside.

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