Page 16 of Peaceful Chaos

I've been naked with this man in every position I've ever imagined, and some I never thought of before, yet the idea of talking about a normal biological process with my husband sparks my shyness. "It's that time of the month," I mumble, and wish for the ground to swallow me whole.

"I don't have a blood kink or anything, but I need you."

I nod my head and squeal as he suddenly scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulder. "Sin, what are you doing?"

He moves through our room with purpose and opens the bathroom door with his free hand. He doesn't say a word when he sets me down next to the shower.

"Strip," he commands, and I shiver hearing the demanding tone in his voice. Not in fear, but anticipation.

Sin reaches inside the shower and turns on the water. I make quick work of my clothes and silently thank Jen for insisting I get a menstrual cup. I push these thoughts out of my head and focus instead on watching my husband strip out of his clothes.

I'm practically salivating watching the muscles in his arms and stomach ripple with the movement required to peel the layers of cotton off his body. "See something you like?" he asks, eyebrow raised and the half smirk making another appearance.

"Hmmm," I hum in appreciation. I step forward and let my fingers lightly trace the ridges and valleys of his chest and stomach.

He lets me for a moment before grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand away. "No more touching," he warns.

I raise my eyebrow. “This won’t be much fun if we aren’t touching each other.”

A naughty smile curves up the corners of his mouth. “Oh, there’ll be touching. By me. I need to be in control right now.”

Slowly, he reaches past me and tests the temperature of the water. When he’s satisfied with the temperature, his hands go around my waist, and he walks me backward until I'm under the spray.

I try to touch him again, and he flinches. "I'm not ready to be touched yet. Put your hands behind your back, and keep them there."

I nod, and press my hands flat against the cool tile wall.

His hand fists in my hair and tips my head back. Our mouths meet, and I melt into him. Once again, he steps back.

"I will never hurt you," he swears. "But I'm not going to be able to be gentle this time."

"What makes you think I want gentle?"

Despite his words, he tenderly brushes the hair out of my face. "You deserve gentle and loving."

I shake my head. "I want you, all that you are."

"You asked for it." His hand goes back into my hair, while the other one lifts me up until my legs go around his waist. I gasp into his mouth as he drives forward, burying himself inside me. His movements are wild, propelling me up and down the wall. His breathing turns ragged and his thrusts become more erratic.

He's come undone, lost in sensation, and it's the most erotic thing I've ever experienced. To be what he needs, who he needs, sends me climbing toward my own release. Despite all the previous times when he's touched me so masterfully, paying attention to every erogenous zone on my body, it's right now that I'm overcome with everything I'm feeling. I've given myself over to him, and in this moment he's my entire world.

I thought I'd already given Sin my heart, but I realize there were parts of it I'd kept reserved behind walls I wasn't aware I'd built. Seeing him vulnerable unlocks something in me, makes me feel like his equal. My heart soars that this powerful man needs me. The love and trust I feel for him swells inside me, and I break along with him.

Together we sink to the floor of the shower. I bring my hands around from behind my back, making sure he sees what I'm intending to do, and when he doesn't flinch, Iwrap them around his neck. He sighs and buries his face in my neck.

"I love you," he murmurs against my skin. He picks his head up and looks me straight in the eyes, "More than anything."

"It scares you," I observe.

He holds me tighter. "I've never had anything to lose before you. The closer I get to you, the more I seem to be losing the hold I have over all the shit buried inside of me."

"Maybe it's time we both start to let go of our pain. I don't want you to keep everything inside of you. I want you to heal, and it won't be easy."

He licks his lips, pulling the bottom one between his teeth. "I don't know how."

"Neither do I, but we can figure it out together. We deserve to be happy."

Sin shakes his head. "I'm not sure I do. I've done so many horrible things."

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