Page 63 of Peaceful Chaos

After I've paid attention to every ridge and valley of his defined chest, I grab his erection around the base and squeeze. I want him out of his mind with desire so he stops questioning if this is a good idea.

When I flick my tongue against the head of his cock, I see his fists clench out of the corner of my eye. It's so against his personality to sit by and let me take over, but his protective instincts are stronger than his need to have control.

As soon as I'm sure he's not going to stop me, I take him deep into my mouth. There was a time I feared this act. The very idea of every doing it willingly was something I couldn't imagine after Kyle had forced me to do it. This isn't the first time I've done this to Sin, but before I did it because I wanted to please him. This time, the feel of him, and the sounds he's making send a wave of arousal through me like I've never had before.

All of my inhibitions disappear. I pull him in deep, hitting the back of my throat, and hum. I work him until he's bucking up into my mouth, mindless and driven only by the need to come.

I can understand why he likes to have control during sex. I've never felt more powerful in my life than having this man coming undone from my touch. I'm not sure what I need more in this moment, this renewed sense of power or the connection between us.

His breathing picks up, and he's struggling to hold out longer. Selfishly, I let him go and stand in front of him. He watches me warily. The few times I've been on top there was still no confusion of who was in control. Him. But this time I'm taking it.

"Raven," he groans and grasps at the sofa cushion. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Do you trust me?" I ask him, while I shed the rest of my clothing and climb onto his lap.

"You're the only person I trust completely. I still don't know if I can give this to you."

I nod and start to move off of him. We both know what it's like to be forced, and I won't do that to him.

His hands grab hold of me, keeping me from leaving, then lets me go. "We can try. I can't promise—"

I kiss him, preventing him from saying anything else. "Just say the word, and we stop."

He grabs his cock, guiding it to my opening, and that's all I need to know he's in the moment with me. I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly sink down on top of him. A long groan rips free from my chest as he fills me.

My intentions of going slow evaporate as all the feelings I've been shoving down wash over me once again. This is more than lust, although there's a lot of that racing through my body. My skin feels hot and tight, and the throbbing in my core threatens to drive me insane if it doesn't get relief. But, along with all that, there's this need to celebrate the fact we’re alive. There's still so many obstacles in our way, I need to take advantage of every moment I have him. I'm not a pessimist, but it would be foolish not to fear what tomorrow might bring.

It feels like there's a clock hanging over our heads. It makes me desperate and gives a sharp edge to every emotion. My arousal is a raging inferno, and I'm powerless to fight it. I lift and lower myself faster and faster. The waves of pleasure slam into me, and I'm frantic to let them carry me away.

His grunts and groans drive me to ignore the burning in my muscles and I drive us both relentlessly toward the peak. His passivity breaks, and he starts to thrust into me each time I come down. From this position I can maneuver to apply pressure to my clit with the base of his dick.

I scream as I come around him, and though I feel nearly boneless, I somehow find the stamina to keep going. I throw everything I've got left into rolling my hips just right. He slams up into me one final time and he holds me still with his hands on my thighs as he comes. The warmth of his release prolongs the spasms still rocking through my body.

Once we're finally sated, I sag against him. I never want to move. I'd love for nothing more than to spend forever with him inside me and his skin pressed against mine.

His lips brush across my shoulder, up my neck, and under my ear. His breath blows hot against my skin as he whispers. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm," I hum. "I'm better than okay. I told you I wouldn't break."

He chuckles and gives my throat a nip. "This is one time I'm happy to be wrong."

* * *

The momentof bliss is transitory. As soon as our skin begins to cool under the air conditioning, the problems we pushed aside come racing back.

Sin buries his face in my neck and breathes me in. His muscles are rigid, and I know we're going to have to talk about what we do next.

"Take a bath with me," he says, encouraging me to get up. Getting up goes against my plan of keeping him naked and under me for the rest of my life, but I guess a naked and wet Jackson Sinclair isn't a bad trade-off.

We're both silent as he turns the water on in the giant soaking tub and dumps some Epsom salt into the water.

I lean against the counter and watch while he sets up candles and turns on some soft music. Well, it's Corey Taylor's version of Wicked Game, but that's soft for my husband.

"I thought you said you weren't romantic," I tease.

He smirks. "I'm learning." He grabs my hand and tugs me toward him. "C'mon, let's get in. This will help with the bruising."

The warmth of the water coaxes a groan from me. All the knots and aches in my body start to unfurl. I relax against his chest and let the momentary sense of calm wash over me.

His fingers trace up and down my arm, leaving a trail of soap bubbles glittering across my skin. His touch is languid, and it draws with it the conversation I'm not looking forward to.

"I know," his voice breaks before he tries again. "I know you said we'll get through this, but I don't want to stand back and let things keep happening to us."

I hum in agreement, sensing he's not done talking, and I don't want to interrupt him.

"Whatever we do from now on, we do it together. I don't know exactly what game Damien is playing here, but it's clear part of it is to separate us. We aren't going to let him."

Tipping my head back, I lace my fingers behind his neck and pull his mouth to mine. Into the kiss, I pour my fears, my anxiety, but most of all, my faith in us.

---