Page 36 of Peaceful Chaos

Written in the Scars

Sin

"Raven,"I call out into the apartment when Javier finally releases Lucien and me from that completely useless meeting. "Princess?" I call out again when there's no answer.

My heart constricts as fear floods my body. She should be here. There are no lights on, no sounds of running water coming from the shower, and no television on. My last hope is to find Raven napping in our bed, but somehow I know without searching she's not here.

Before Raven, fear wasn't an emotion I really understood. It's hard to be afraid of losing everything when you have nothing to lose, even my life wasn't my own. Under those circumstances, death seemed like a blessing. After Raven entered, my life is a different story. She has opened me up to love, but along with it the fear she'll be taken from me.

On nearly every trip Damien sent Lucien and me on, I saw the moment my target realized I was there to take their life. The fear that filled their eyes both saddened and fascinated me. I wondered what it was like to have something to live for. What would I do if I had something so precious I'd stare death in the face and beg to live?

Turns out what I would do is practically smother the object of my obsession. I won't take her freedom, but the urge to keep her safe makes me crazy. I burn for Raven, and I'm afraid one day we'll both be consumed by the intensity of my need for her.

I hurry through the apartment searching for her, even knowing she's probably not here. A quick search confirms she's not in the shower or in our bed. My hands shake as I grab my phone from my pocket and dial the guard shack by the gate.

I don't waste time on pleasantries when I hear the line connect. "Raven is missing. There's no sign of a break in, but she wouldn't just leave. I don't know how, but Damien must have taken her."

"Mr. Sinclair, your wife is fine. I arranged transport for her to the library a few hours ago. Mr. Shaw and Mr. Reese both accompanied her, and the team messaged a few minutes ago that they're already on their way back."

I clench my teeth. "Why did you arrange for Raven to leave the complex without me?"

"She's not a prisoner. If she wants to go somewhere, and we can make it safe, we aren't going to stop her." I can hear the judgment in his tone. He can fucking save it though, because they won't protect her as well as I can.

He hangs up, and I notice all the missed calls and texts from her. At least I know she tried to get a hold of me first. I checked my phone frequently during the time Luce and I met with Javier, but when Raven didn't message me I assumed it was because everything was fine. With new messages pinging in rapid succession, I'm realizing Javier jammed the signal in the office. He and I are going to have a chat about limiting my wife's ability to get in touch with me.

I hear a car door slam in front of the apartment, and I rush to the front door. I can't stop myself from acting like a neanderthal and practically ripping her out of the car. I set her down once we're inside and press her against the wall.

"You left the apartment without me. I can't protect you if I'm not with you."

Raven sighs and leans against the wall. "I was safe. I had the security team, and I brought Ford and Teddy with me."

"Ford comes to the rescue again," I mutter.

Raven narrows her eyes. "I thought we were done with that."

I take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose. "We are and we're not. I trust you, and him for the most part. Doesn't mean I have to like it when he steps into my shoes as your protector."

Her eyes flash with irritation, and she puts her hands on my chest, shoving me back away from her. "My protector? Is that what you are?"

She shoves me again. "Is that all there is between us?"

I hold her hands still against my chest. My heart thunders under her touch. "Is that what you think?"

"Would we have gotten married when we did if you weren't worried my father would get me and force me into an arranged marriage?" she asks.

My brow furrows. I don't like where this conversation is going. "Do you regret it?"

"No." She looks up at me, and there's a look of fear in her blue eyes. "But I'm scared that once the danger passes you will."

"Raven, the moment you stepped into the moonlight my heart started beating again. There's no scenario where I'll regret being married to you. How can I prove that to you?"

"I wish I knew," she whispers.

I kiss her forehead. "This will hold until morning." I hold out my hand to her. "Come to bed with me. Tonight, let all the worrying go and let me hold you."

She's quiet as we get ready for bed. We slip under the covers, and I hold her tight to my chest, her back to my front. My lips find the curve of her neck, and she sighs. She turns around in my arms, threads her fingers in my hair, and brings my mouth to hers.

We kiss slowly. I try to show her with each touch how deep my love for her goes. I might not have the words she needs, but every caress is a promise to her that nothing will ever come between us.

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