Page 15 of Harmonizing Hearts

Desperation drives me to find her, to understand why she’s shut me out. I manage to track down her current address from a Royals member. Yeah, I am that desperate. Praying I’ll find her waiting inside, ready to listen and offer some explanation because seeing her with someone else broke my heart. But as I stand outside her door, anxiety courses through my veins, tightening my muscles. The door remains closed, and she’s nowhere to be found.

A wave of disappointment crashes over me, threatening to drown me in its depths. I try to quell the panic rising within me, reminding myself that she might just be out for a while. But my insecurities claw at the corners of my mind, whispering doubts that I can’t ignore. What if she’s deliberately avoiding me? What if I’ve lost the one person who made me feel like I had a home? I thought we had something special. Ours. But now I’m the one wondering what the hell I did wrong.

Unable to bear the uncertainty any longer, I start reaching out to the only person who might have some answers.

“Hey, Jax,” Angel's voice reaches from the speakerphone.

Sitting on the hood of my car I peer at my feet. “Hi Angel, do you have a moment?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Would it be possible to have a meeting with Emma?” I feel so dumb asking her but still she’s the only one that can help me.

“A meeting? Is everything okay?” The concern in her voice makes me want to slap myself, she’s my boss after all.

“Yeah, I just need to…” I pause to come up with an excuse. Not that I can tell her the real reason, “to discuss some options about an apartment I’ve seen here.”

She hums, “Then shoot her an email, Jax. Emma is in Europe at the moment since we’re organizing Devil’s Sides’ concerts in Italy.”

Her words are like a cold shower. In Italy.

“Jax, are you still there?”

Shaking my head, I unlock the car and get inside. “Yeah, will do it, thank you, Angel.”

“No worries. The nine-hour difference is a bugger so it may take her some hours to get it back to you, but she’s always reachable.”

No, she’s not. Texts and phone calls seem to go unnoticed.

“Okay, thanks Angel.” Emma’s been actively engaging with others, responding to their messages and calls, but the silence she reserves for me is deafening.

Confusion and hurt mingle inside me, intertwining with the insecurities that have plagued me for so long. My mind races, searching for a logical explanation. What have I done to make her resent me? Was my attention not enough to anchor her in the same way she did with me?

As days turn into weeks, my attempts to reach out to her go unanswered. The pain of rejection grows unbearable, slowly chipping away at my resolve. Yet, deep down, I can’t abandon the flicker of hope that lingers within me. What I feel for Emma refuses to fade, despite the torment of her absence. I won’t let my insecurities win this battle. I must confront the pain head-on, find the strength to communicate with her openly, and discover if there’s still a chance for us, if what was between us can withstand the weight of our individual struggles.

* * *

Taking my cell phone out,I dial Mac’s number. I need advice since I suck at relationships.

“Jackson, is everything okay?” Dad’s voice makes me realize it’s dark outside. When did the hours fly by?

“Hi Dad,” I sigh, “Are you busy?”

He chuckles, “Never been for ya. What’s wrong?”

“I fucked up, Dad.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, “I don’t even know what I did wrong and now she’s in Europe and avoids me.”

“Ah, now I get it. Heart problems.” He pauses, making me wonder why am I so dumb, “I thought this moment would never come. Who’s she?”

“Emma.” I lean back on the couch, “Do you remember the girl I met at the New Year’s party?”

“Hmm-hmm.”

I let out a deep breath, “Well, turns out she works for SMD too.”

“And she’s against it because you’re colleagues?” Dad asks. “For some the ethic means more than anything.”

“We’ve spent a week together and I thought it wasn’t so. But then something has changed and now she’s avoiding me.” I clench my fist trying to release the anger that mounts.

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