Page 16 of Harmonizing Hearts

“You fell for her, didn’t you?” he chuckles. Have I? “I know it may scare you but you should talk to her and open your heart.”

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same, Dad?” I sit straight when Jill sits opposite me with her ice cream jar.

“If you don’t tell her how can she know? Trust your gut, Jax, and follow your heart.” Follow my heart? I’ve always been in control but now I feel like I have any control anymore.

“Thank you, Dad.” I massage my pulsing temple while trying to erase my headache.

I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to face the unknown, to fight for her. Emma may be physically distant, but the bond we share is something I refuse to let go of. I’ll keep pushing forward, hoping that she’ll open up to me once more, allowing me to prove that even if I’m not perfect I can love her unconditionally.

“She who? Emma?” Jill crosses her legs and peers at me.

“Jill, don’t,” I mumble while pushing myself up on the couch.

“She’s hurt, Jax. I don’t know what you’ve done but you should fix it,” she says before eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Fix what, Jillian? I thought everything was great between us and the next day she flirts with someone else.” I snap at her regretting it right away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

She narrows her eyes at me, “Maybe it was a consequence of something you’ve done or said.”

I’ve done nothing.

* * *

Angel toldus we can use one of the recording studios whenever we want. In the past days, I spent my days closed in my home pouring my heart out at the gym and on the paper. A new song came out of this madness but I want to hear it before recording a demo for Angel. Are thoughts, pain, rage and disappointment all merged into what I think are good lyrics. Dex was about to kick the door down and for the first time since he knew me I cried. I felt like a fucking pussy but it helped me to understand I’m head over heels with Em. I’m not sure when our bond got so strong and maybe that’s the beauty of love.

"Earth calls Jax.” William’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Hey, hi.” I get up from his chair, “Sorry, I was waiting for the guys.”

“No worries,” he switches the console on, “do you know how to use it?”

“Yeah, I have something similar on my computer, just smaller,” I chuckle. “Actually, could you start with this base?” I hand him the pen drive. I worked on this track with Dex and I want to see if it works for this piece.

“That’s cool, is it in beta?” William plugs it in and opens the file.

“Yeah, I'm just playing around with it, we have our wizard who does miracles.” I chuckle while the guys come in.

“Good morning,” Jill hugs me. “Any news?”

I shake my head, “Go get ready.”

William takes his headset off, “Okay, so, the beta raises some notes while here we can make them flow and get a little less aggressive, while here,” he points to the chorus part, “we definitely can leave it that way. You did a great job but I need to hear it played to make sure we can use this base.”

“We’re here for it.” Dex and I high five. “Thank you.”

We move in the sound proof room and Dex takes places behind the drum set. Jill and I stand in front of the microphones and her smile makes me smile. She’s been a sweetheart to try to talk with Em even if I told her not to. I tried to keep the guys out of what I thought was the beginning of a relationship. Fuck, I broke all my rules in one setting because of her and I don’t regret it. I feel alive when Emma is with me and I’ll be damned if I’ll let her push me away.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Will's voice reaches us. We wear the headset and I look back to nod at the guys. We are ready.

The first lyrics leave my mouth and I close my eyes letting the music carry me away. The drum sets the tempo while the bass and guitar gives it that power that sinks in your bones. My mind drifts back to Em and I pour my heart in the song. The jolts irradiate over my skin while I leave the soft part to speak up what I can’t. Because it scares the hell out of me to let anyone see that vulnerable part of me. I’ve been absolutely many times that now, I got used to that feeling, but now, after ages I feel like the same toddler who thought no one ever would love him.

The last chorus hits hard, and I open my eyes gasping for breath.

“Sublime! Well done, guys.”

I snap my head toward the window and meeting Angel and Matthew’s gaze wasn’t something I thought possible. The two of them wear the headset and listen to what I think is the registration. Angel moves her head to the rhythm and the smile on her face makes me relax.

That’s a good sign.

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