Page 79 of The Spy Ring

TWENTY-SEVEN

Tiffany

“Love? Really, Tiffany?”I said to myself in the mirror of the hotel bathroom.

I was naked. Having just taken a shower, I felt it the perfect time to dissect the night before when I told Jagger that I loved him.

“You must have been high on strip club fumes,” I said to the mirror as I grabbed the tiny complimentary toothbrush and swiped on some toothpaste.

Shoving the brush into my mouth, I pointed my finger in the air. “One, you have known him for just over a month.”

I scrubbed my teeth before spitting and putting up another finger. “Two, he’s jobless. Which, before that, he was a government agent that did classified stuff that involved taking down powerful criminals. Which is good for our country but bad when it comes to a safe, dependable mate.”

After wiping my face and pulling a brush through my hair, I held up my third finger. “Jagger has lied to me in the past. While I can overlook the other things, as time would take care of number one and number two has been wiped out from him not working for the government anymore. Number three is sticky.”

I walked over to the bathroom door to open it but turned to my reflection once more. “And I hate being sticky.”

Jagger had gotten up early this morning and left. I knew because I heard him leave. I pretended to be asleep and listened to him stumble around trying to find his shoes. Once he was gone, I sat up in bed realizing I made a terrible mistake.

I never should have said I loved him. It’s not that I didn’t feel that for him, because I did. It may have been over ten years since I felt that twisty, heart thundering explosion that love for another man does to my body, but I could recognize it the moment it happened.

When he opened up last night, all I wanted to do was resurrect his father so I could punch him in the balls. I wanted to hold Jagger and kiss him and never stop. That’s when I knew.

I stupidly got swept up in that moment, letting my heart spill it all for him. And maybe it helped him get through his grief last night. For that I am glad, but last night isn’t today. What about tomorrow or all the days after?

It’s out there, and I can’t take it back. I can’t unravel my heart and pick out the burgeoning love that thrives in his eyes as they sweep down my body. Or gain strength from his fingers as they curl into mine so I can push him away. And when Jagger says my name, it’s as if I hadn’t realized I wasn’t breathing until that moment.

Just because I felt this way didn’t mean it should happen.

Nothing about this was safe. Even the smallest risk could crack a life in two. My heart may suffer and yes, the guilt of telling him how I felt will eat away at me when I take it all back. But this can’t go on. We can’t go on.

I stepped out of the bathroom and came to a full stop when a pair of green eyes grew wide, darkened, and focused on my chest.

“Jagger. You came back,” I said like an idiot who was naked and only a foot away from a fully clothed man.

The way his gaze swept my body held me captive. I should have turned around and ran back into the bathroom, but I didn’t.

“Yes. I guess I should have called. I went home to change but wanted to return before you woke.”

My nakedness was glaring. But we talked like two normal people where one happened to be without clothing.

“I might not have heard you if you were to call, as I was in the shower.” I nodded and thought putting my hand on my hip would make the situation less awkward.

It didn’t.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

Not at all. I thought I might pass out from the heat traveling up my neck. Worried that any moment I would move my arms and an ocean of sweat would flood the room.

“It’s just that . . .” He stepped closer and brushed his finger across my intensely erect nipple.

I shook my head trying to ward off the flood of pleasure that came from his touch. When I opened my mouth to deny him, what escaped was a mistake. The moan that came out was so wrong.

I shouldn’t be naked. My body needed to stop reacting to his fingers. And I had to start forming words. Words to stop this. Words to end us.

But I couldn’t find them so I moved. My feet inched backward but the man followed.

“And you have goose bumps all over. You must be freezing.” Jagger slipped his hands around my back, pulling me flush against his hard body preventing me from taking another step away from him.

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