Page 62 of Finn

We stay like that for a while until she sits back, her eyes red, her nose runny.

I get up and grab some tissues, then sit back down with her.

“Here.” I hand her the Kleenex. As she dabs at her eyes with them, I tell her, “Sammie, again, that accident was not your fault. You had nowhere to go. Shit like that happens too fast for people to react. That could have been anybody driving, and it would have played out the same way. You can’t beat yourself up about something you had no control over.”

“Then it should have been me who didn’t make it,” she states quietly. “Not only did my sister die on impact, so did the driver of the truck. He was dead before the paramedics even got there. My family found out later that he was having a heart attack. That’s why he crossed over the line. He wasn’t supposed to be driving due to a bunch of health conditions, so we received a huge settlement from the insurance company. And I mean massive, Finn. My parents gave me half before they moved to Florida.” She releases a ragged breath. “Two people died that night, and then there was me. I was fine.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “I had a little whiplash, but that was it. I was the only one who lived. But I shouldn’t have.”

She tosses a wadded-up tissue to the floor angrily, and I take her hands once more. “No! Look at me.” She does, and I go on.“There was a reason you survived, and it’s not to punish yourself for the rest of your life. Your sister wouldn’t want that, Sammie. She’d want you to go on and live and be happy.”

She lets out a sob. “I want that, Finn. I do. I want it so much, now more than ever before. But I don’t think I know how.”

I squeeze her hands. “Just let go and live, sweetheart. Forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong, and you certainly didnotkill your sister. Promise me you’ll never say that again. That would be a start to healing.” She looks down, and I reiterate, “Promise me, Sammie.”

“Okay.” She nods, like she’s trying to convince herself she can do it. I think she really, truly wants to. “I promise,” she says.

And then, looking up at me, she asks softly, “You’re sure you don’t hate me now?”

I make a face. “Fuck, of course not. Sammie, I could never hate you. Not when I fucking love you as much as I do.”

Sammie

Iblink once, twice.

Did Finn just say that he loves me?

There’s no way I heard that right.

Frowning, I ask, “Youloveme?”

The flames from the fire flicker in his green eyes as he nods and replies, “Yeah, Sammie, I do.”

“Like, as a friend, right?” I try to clarify, because there’s no way he means more than that.

He chuckles a little, then shakes his head. “No, I mean as more than a friend—much more.”

Wow.

While I try to process what Finn has just told me, he leans forward and wraps his arms around me.

I crawl into his lap and hold onto him.

I need a hug right now.

And from someone who freaking loves me.

That’s even better.

Finn loves me!

I keep saying it to myself.

Finn loves me.

Finn loves me.

Finn loves me.

And then I realize I haven’t told him I feel the same way.

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