Page 158 of Choose the Bears

Nat wanted to protest. Of course she did, because if we felt the loss of the children whenever they weren’t around, she had it ten times worse. She grew them in her body, had them growing close to her heart the entire time, and I had to wonder if she missed that sometimes.

While also being able to experience some relief.

She stepped back and nodded to herself, then got busy putting away the barely used baby carriers. When pregnant, it’d been all plans of going out each day and getting involved in this and that, but kids have a way of humbling you. Right as she closed the door, Ingrid came bustling in.

“Real Housewives of Orange County,” she announced, looking very pleased with herself.

“What?”

Nat spoke for all of us then.

“I think a good old fashioned trash TV marathon is in order,” Holly explained. “Sit on the couch long enough for the cushions to get a permanent bum print on them. Eat your body weight in junk food.”

“Protein drink first.” Thorn twisted his wrist. “You need the nutrients.”

“Skull the drink that tastes like chocolate flavoured gym socks,” Holly continued, “then pizza, chocolate, popcorn, mocktails?—”

“Oh my god, that sounds like heaven…” Nat murmured. “But I’ve got?—”

“To relax,” I said, shooting her a meaningful look.

“There’s—”

“Nothing you need to do but plonk your butt on the couch and drink that shake,” Thorn added.

Nat let out a frustrated sigh.

“I can’t just loll around all day.” She stared each one of us down. “I can’t. There’s things that need doing.”

“Then we’ll work out what they are and get them done.” Lars was always a grumpy prick, but right now his intensity worked in our favour. He stared right back, daring her to contradict him. “A load of washing has been done and another one is in the machine.” She sucked in a breath, but he cut her off. “Dishes are done.” He glanced upwards. “We even did a quick sweep of the cobwebs off the roof that you hate.”

“They give me the heebie jeebies,” she muttered under her breath.

“The only thing we can’t do is feed the kids, but there are ways we could assist more. Mum did a lot of research and found a breast pump that’s supposed to be top of the line.”

“Pumping?” We were doing so well, but right now Nat bristled. She’d done so much research before the birth about the merits of breastfeeding or formula and had developed very firm opinions about it. “What about nipple confusion? What if the babies won’t take a bottle?”

“Let's find out.” Alaric stepped forward looking like a shadow of the guy that ordered a team around a building site. “Please, Nat. We don’t want to take this from you, but… you need sleep. You could breastfeed all day and then pump. One of us could sleep with you in another room. You’ve got a sleep deficit that’s so bad I worry if you’ll ever be able to make it up.”

It was his concern, not his reasoning, that got through to her, but all we got was a sharp nod in response.

“Fine, we’ll try it, but I really think a day of rest will be enough.” Of course she did. The woman was like a freaking force of nature, never allowing herself a moment’s weakness, but she didn’t know. We’d snuck under her defences before and we’d do so again. The bear shifted inside me, black fur prickling across my skin as she shuffled over to the couch and then flumped down, Holly and Ingrid following her. “So what’re we watching?”

“Real Housewives works,” Holly said, “or Next Top Model. There’s nothing like watching someone richer and/or prettier than you ugly crying to make me feel better about my life.”

“Real Housewives it is,” Nat said, turning on the TV.

Chapter 83

Natalie

Watching reality TV was never fun for me because all that drama and screaming usually made me feel dirty. Not this time. Holly’s insane commentary, Ingrid’s pithy observations, and the fact the plight of the show participants kind of all blended together into a hazy background was somehow relaxing. My eyelids fell lower and lower, then jerked open when I heard a cry. Jane and Meryl appeared in the lounge room with the babies in tow, like twin angels.

“It’s feeding time, I guess.”

This was all part of the torture. Just when I started to relax, the kids would start to cry. So much so my body felt wired and tired. Unable to let go sufficiently to get sleep, but also not able to be awake and alert. I felt like my children’s early days were just whizzing by in a horrible haze.

“Don’t get up.” Meryl moved in with expert precision, tucking Kai in under one arm. “If you can find a way to feed the children when lying down, it means you have a better opportunity to sleep.”

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