Page 80 of French Kiss

31

The Key

July13

Hôtel George V

The pristine bedwith the perfect pillow shams and creaseless down duvet didn’t stand a chance after I’d professed my feelings to Josh and spent the next two hours showing him exactly how much I loved him.

Later, Josh called room service, and we sat on the balcony of his room in plush bathrobes, sipping Perrier and eating mussels and french fries. Though really, I stuck to the fries and he ate the mussels. I still wasn’t that European.

Looking out over the city, I felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in years. Of all the people to feel comfortable following an uncertain road with, Josh was it. We could make mistakes, and I knew we’d be able to find our way out of them again. That was what three years had given us.

I remembered what Heidi had said about needing to have some area of her life where she could rebel. All the rest was planned, so she looked for small ways to make things less predictable. Maybe I could look at love that way. Maybe I could let it be untamed and a little scary.

“So… does this mean you’ll stick around Paris a little longer?” I asked.

He laughed. “Is that what those wheels in your head have just been working out? I’ll stay as long as you want. I have no plans for the next two weeks.”

“And the hotel room?”

“I have it as long as I want. As long as we want.”

“What about my little cute Hôtel de Seine?” I asked.

“Or we can stay there. It’s perfect. We don’t need a fancy place.”

“But I do like this bed and these linens,” I said, eyeing what had felt like about a million thread count.

“We don’t have to decide where to stay right now.”

“I do want to decide one thing. I want to know it’s you. Forever. With me. I don’t want to second-guess anything or worry about anything.”

He was looking at me like maybe I’d gone round the bend. Or maybe he was just giving me time to finish.

“Oh my God, you are such a planner,” he said, laughing. “And you don’t need to worry. I love you too. I think I’ve been in love with you since the day you showed up early to be on time. I just never thought it could happen, so it seemed like I needed to be honest with myself and give up.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” I said. “And thank you for coming to meet me under the Eiffel Tower.”

“Seriously, why under the tower?” he asked and we cracked up.

It was destined to be an inside joke for a long time.

* * *

Later in the afternoon,we got dressed and took a walk. Josh kept insisting that there was something I just had to see. We planned to meet up with Shelby and Amrita, but he promised our stop on the way wouldn’t make us late. Of course I asked him where we were going.

“Not telling. You’ll see.”

“You’re just protecting yourself in case you can’t find it.”

“You’re just trying to manipulate me into telling you, and I’m not going to do it.”

A few blocks later, I asked again.

It wasn’t that I felt nervous or that I thought he was taking me someplace I wouldn’t want to go. I just wanted to know. I always wanted to know.

That was why I’d chosen a career in medicine. There was something reassuring about the human body and its functions. There were so many puzzles that were already solved, and so many of the questions could be answered by looking at what was right in front of me. I could study, I could learn, I could follow a path, and I could succeed. I liked those kinds of odds. But somewhere along the way, I’d started applying that kind of reasoning to every aspect of my life. And I was just beginning to realize that I was shortchanging myself out of the best parts.

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