Page 72 of French Kiss

“Yeah? Nice. Me too.”

He always had friends, even if he didn’t know a soul when he walked in a room. Why would Europe be any different?

“Cool.” I didn’t know what else to say to him. His letter had been so honest and heartfelt, but I couldn’t deal with any of it. I still hadn’t sorted out what it meant to me, and I didn’t know what I wanted.

“So… you’re not too pissed at me?” he asked. “I mean, you answered the phone, so I guess you don’t hate me.”

“I didn’t know who it was, actually.”

“Oh, right. This is Courtney’s phone,” he said, like I should know who Courtney was. “Geez, what am I thinking? Sorry, it’s been kind of crazy here.”

“Yeah, so how is it? How’s Germany?”

“Oh, I ended up only being there for like a day. I’m in Greece.”

That didn’t make sense. Hadn’t he been in Germany for a week with Josh and his family? My heart sank, and I felt duped again for having believed Josh when he said he’d spent time with Maddox. Nothing he’d told me was true at all.

“So, wait. Did you not see Josh?”

“Like I said, just for a day. Things got nuts when I met Courtney, and her friends talked us into buying these cheapo tickets to Athens.”

Still, he’d left the letter with Josh and asked him to give it to me. I remembered exactly what it said, and its words made me want some sort of a connection with Maddox, even if he was in Greece with other people. I wanted him to know I appreciated his honesty and that I understood why he hadn’t come. Well, not really, but I understood it about as much as I could relate to anything else he said.

“Anyway, thank you for your letter. It meant a lot to me.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and I thought we’d been disconnected.

“Wait, what?” he asked.

“Your letter.”

More silence. And then I realized. “You didn’t write me a letter? To explain why you couldn’t come to Paris.”

“A letter? Who writes letters? But I do owe you an apology. For bailing.”

“That’s why you called just now?”

“Um, yeah. Were you not here for the conversation? I’m with some friends in Greece.”

“I understand that, but I came to Paris to meet you. Like you said.” Now I was getting angry. And loud. Amrita turned her head to look at me, her expression asking if everything was okay. “I got on a train. A three-hour train from Amsterdam. I followed through on our plans and went to the Eiffel Tower because that’s what normal, respectful people do when they make a promise to their friends. Jesus, Maddox. This isn’t flaking on showing up to the bar on Haight. This is another country. And you couldn’t even send me a text letting me know you weren’t gonna show?”

“And I’m sorry about that. Totally my bad. I think I was still on the plane. Then we were in a part of Greece with sketchy cell service—”

“You could have texted before you even went to Greece. You clearly knew you weren’t gonna make it to Paris.”

“True, but you said you were gonna go in Paris anyway. So at worst, I dragged you there a little early, for which I apologize. As I called to tell you.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He really didn’t give a shit about me or our supposed connection. After stoking my infatuation with Maddox over years, I so badly wanted it to play out that I set myself up to be disappointed by a guy who, at best, had a fractional chance of following through on any plan.

“Yeah. Okay. So thanks for calling, then,” I said, not really meaning it but not really believing I’d ever see Maddox again. It was better to part on decent terms. But I needed to be clear. “Just one more time—you didn’t write me a letter and give it to Josh to give to me.”

“Seriously, who writes letters? I could lie and say I did, but… no, sorry.”

“It’s okay. No lies. I can’t take any more lies.”

He sighed like he was regretting having called a crazy person. “Well, okay, then. Great to talk to you.” He sounded sarcastic.

“You too. Enjoy Greece,” I said through gritted teeth. I hope someone breaks a plate on your thick dumb skull. I hung up before he could say anything else.

Amrita and Shelby had abandoned the café table and walked over to where I stood on tiny Rue des Saules, a cobblestoned street temporarily devoid of people. “You okay?” Shelby asked when she saw me standing there looking glassy-eyed, tears welling.

I was on the verge of tears, but not because of Maddox. “Yeah, I’m… good. Maddox is a self-centered asshole, but we already knew that. And I’m also an idiot.” I recounted the conversation with Maddox, which left us all drawing the same conclusion about the letter.

“So Josh wrote it,” Amrita said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he did.”

“Why would he do that? Why try to give you the impression that Maddox said all those nice things?” Shelby asked.

“I have no idea.”

---