Page 31 of Between Our Hearts

She wasn’t the Sadie he’d fallen in love with. The woman who knew her place in the world because she’d fought tooth and nail to get there. The woman who commanded the respect of others.

Sadie looked at her trembling hands. This was the Sadie who struggled to put one foot in front of another and couldn’t give him the family he wanted. That feeling of being a waxed version of herself, brittle and capable of crumbling at any point, rolled over her. Setting the phone on the decomposing wood next to her, she curled back into a ball—pressing herself back together.

You need to stay away from them. The best thing for them is for you not to be there.

Her phone buzzed with a text.

Clark:Hey, love. I’m making spaghetti and grilled veggies. I’ll make you a plate to reheat when you get home. Love you. See you soon.

The mewling, splintered sound bursting from her lips immediately made her grateful for her solitude. Clark was expecting this morning’s Sadie to walk through the door any minute now. The one who’d gripped his waist and pressed a kiss to his lips before leaving. Several desperate breaths seesawed through her tight lungs before her brain resounded with an answer.

You can’t keep doing this to him.

Sadie knew she was causing Clark pain by not talking to him, by not letting the truth bleed from her veins, by shutting down and literally hiding, but she couldn’t find another way to exist right now.

Her forehead thunked on her kneecap. She didn’t want to let go of Clark, let go of Lottie, let go of their life together, but maybe that was the responsible thing to do. Therightthing.

The stars dotted the sky, and she’d received Clark’s “I’m heading to bed” text before Sadie allowed herself to finally drive home.

?Chapter 16?

“Is this, uh, the dad’s exercise class?” A man in his late-twenties with thick, curly blond hair and glasses pushed a stroller toward the group just as Clark and several other dads were returning from their warm-up run.

“That’s us.” Miles smiled, gesturing to the circle of strollers. “Park your kiddo over there and pick a station.”

“Oh. Okay.” The dad stopped his stroller right next to Lottie’s and pulled back the swaddle blanket that had been covering the attached infant car seat.

Most dads were doing a quick check of their kids before picking a station, but Clark simply marched to the one farthest away at the edge of the large ramada.

Acid had been eating at his intestines all morning, and now it was slowly working its way outward. Last night as he had waited for Sadie to text or call him back, he’d given his wife the benefit of the doubt. It had taken all of his mental energy, but he’d done it. After all, there had been times while things had been good in their relationship where she’d been out of reach while at the hospital. Even with constantly reassuring himself that everything was fine, he hadn’t been able to rest after he’d put himself to bed. Only when he’d heard the whisper of the garage opening through the pitch black of their bedroom had he passed into sleep.

But then Sadie’s leg hadn’t been flung over the covers this morning like he’d expected. Light had pierced through the haphazardly drawn blackout curtains, illuminating the fact that he’d been the sole occupant of their large bed. As his bare feet had padded down the wooden stairs, he’d fought the itching sensation crawling up his back. His hand had rested on the garage door handle for several breaths before he’d confirmed what, in his heart, he’d already known.

Sadie was gone.

The dull ache that had settled just behind his breastbone felt like an old friend who’d come to grab a beer and catch up. Because in that moment, he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He’d seen this coming. He’d been holding his breath for days, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even though a fool-hearted part of him had thought the progress they’d made in those short days was enough, he could no longer deny that maybe her motivations for staying away from him stemmed from something else. Something he hadn’t allowed himself to think too hard about until now.

“Hey,” Jayce jogged over. “You okay?” The rest of the dads were filtering to the different stations, but no one else followed Jayce to theirs.

Clark barely managed to keep his tone even. “Yeah, why?”

His friend took a deep breath and pressed his lips together. “No reason.”

Miles had created a sports theme for this week’s classes, and today’s workout was inspired by football drills. An orange cone on the ground pinned down an index card with the exercise written on it.

Jayce bent to read it. “Five second mountain climbers into a sprint to the basketball courts, and repeat.”

“All right.” Clark braced his hands on the ground, waiting for the start whistle. The large cement slab, steady and unyielding under his palms, helped subdue the untethered feeling trying to capsize him.

“Clark!” Miles shouted from the circle of strollers. “Lottie says she needs to potty.”

He barely stifled the curse wanting to stealth out of his lips. Right now, heneededto exert himself. He needed to push his body to its limits to prove to himself that he could control at least this—his bones, his muscles. Because everything else felt like it was outside his grasp.

When he swallowed hard and rose to standing, Clark ignored the way Jayce’s eyes seemed to track his every move.

The entire time he re-Velcroed Lottie’s purple sandals, unbuckled and picked up his daughter, Clark kept his eyes from the newcomer’s stroller.

But it didn’t matter.

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