Page 139 of Crave

I never want to eat early.

That’s when I do my best on the treadmill.

And hopefully suggesting the tiniest container for her will limit the sugary stuff.

I wish someone had taught me better habits when I was younger. Life would have been so much easier.

She carries her breakfast and I have the berries to head to her room.

I don’t know what time my brother and his wife normally get up, but I’m certainly not disturbing them.

“Aunt Lara? Are you gonna have any kids for me to play with?” Elena asks as she colors a purple butterfly.

I wasn’t expecting that.

“I’m not sure. It’s a very important decision that Alexei and I would have to talk about.” I’m working on a blue dragon sitting on a castle.

I don’t think it would be good for me to be pregnant, I don’t know if I would cope well. It’s not fair on any of us to go through that.

Elena giggles. “You and Alexei? That would make funny looking babies.”

My stomach rolls. She thinks I’m ugly?

“Why would you think that?” I try to downplay it, but it hurts.

“They might have a silver tooth when they’re born like him.” She grins widely, pointing to her missing front one. “Maybe when mine grows in it will be gold?”

Dropping her crayon, she digs through her box for a bright yellow one. “Like this.” She scribbles over the face of the sun.

That isn’t nearly as bad as what I thought she meant.

“That’s very pretty, I love it!” Why do I always think the worst?

A light knock on the door frame startles me.

Nikolai stands there, crossing his arms over his chest. “Mikhail called.”

I think my heart triples its rate. “Yes?”

“He said he got Alexei dropped in, and will be heading to the pickup zone tonight.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Sounded like everything went as planned.”

Except I still haven’t heard from him. “Is he out of cell range?”

Nikolai wipes his hand over his face. “I have no idea. Alexei doesn’t tell me shi—” He glances down at his daughter. “—anything anymore.” He shakes his head. “I’m making coffee, want some?”

“No thanks.” I don’t want to tell him I’ve already passed my calories for this morning with the three strawberries I ate.

Wait. Alexei’s diet plan says that I can. It allows for both.

I like not having to worry. “Actually, that sounds nice, thank you.”

Nikolai nods and disappears down the hall.

“I wish your daddy knew more about what Alexei is doing.” I try to focus back on the outline in front of me.

“What is he doing?” Elena doesn’t look up as she reaches over and pops a berry in her mouth.

“He’s paying for saving me.” And risking everything to do it.

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