Page 71 of Stuck in Paradise with You

When he crawls onto the bed and over me, one side of his mouth curves up. He strokes wet hair from my temple, kisses the tip of my nose, then my lips, and his restraint, his kindness, make me fall even deeper.

‘I don’t want this to be quick,’ he says. ‘It’s been a long time coming.’

The sincerity in his expression, the gentleness of his touch, erases from my mind all the things I’ve hidden behind for seven years. Leaving only the truth – I’ve wished for this moment all the time we’ve been apart.

When someone turns your world upside down the way Luke did mine, there’s no way to flip it back again.

But I can’t say that. I can’t tell him that. Because tomorrow will be the time for talking. Tonight, I keep the words on the tip of my tongue exactly there. I swallow them down and respond only with a kiss and a gasp when he finally slides inside me, finally making me complete again.

33

CARRIE

I know as soon as I wake in the middle of the night, though my body has betrayed me by falling into a sated sleep wrapped around Luke – my leg across his, my arm around his waist, my head on his chest – that my regret is fierce. Dread turns in my head and in my torso, which has nothing to do with the wind raging outside Luke’s pod. No, this feeling is one I know too well, and it’s worse than the fear of any weather.

He looks so peaceful, so calm, but there’s a storm brewing and it isn’t a hurricane. We shouldn’t have slept together. We shouldn’t have kissed.

Why do we do this to each other? Why do we make such a fucking mess of everything? And why am I crying?

I cover my mouth with my hand, begging my emotions to stay quiet as I slip out of Luke’s hold and out of his bed. I see one of his t-shirts, or some kind of garment, it’s hard to tell in the darkness of the room, hanging over a chair. Whatever it is will have to do because I need to get out of here.

It’s a long-sleeved top, I realize as I pull it on, tiptoeing from his pod and closing the door as quietly as I can behind me. The wind is intense outside; it takes me by surprise, pausing my tearsfor a moment as I run from Luke’s pod to my own. Inside, I shut the door, press my back to it and slide down to the floor, my silent tears now flowing freely.

What have I done? I can’t be back here. I can’t.

In the darkness, I move to my bed and find my phone on the dresser. It’s after four in the morning and shortly, I’ll have to move to the basement at the main house, where I’m going to spend the rest of the day with my client and a group of people who all love Luke, the man who just broke me apart all over again.

And I let him. I did more than let him; I begged him to do it.Iwalked tohispod.

Why? Was it the letters he told me he wrote?I don’t even know what they did or didn’t say.Did I fantasize that they declared some kind of undying love, a fire that would never be put out?

What an idiot I am. What a glutton for punishment.

Worse still, I’ve done it all right under the nose of my client, risked my reputation again, and for what? A one-night stand for old times’ sake?

My tears come thick and fast, again. I only have myself to blame. None of this is on Luke. Not this time. I walked into this with my mind closed but my eyes open.

I do the only thing I can think to do: I call Callum. Though it’s an ungodly hour of the morning, I beg into the night that he’ll answer.

When he doesn’t pick up the first ring, I dial again, and again. I feel needy. I’mbeingneedy, and needy isnotthe kind of woman I am or want to be, but my best friend’s counsel feels like the only thing that might help me at this juncture because I am… lost.

‘Carrie,’ Callum blurts, panting.Did he run for the phone?‘Are you okay?’

The storm. I’ll have scared him to death. ‘Shit.’ I sniff and wipe my nose inelegantly against the back of my hand. ‘Sorry, yes, I’m…’ A sob escapes me, muffling the sound of the word ‘fine’.

‘Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. Hold that thought and definitely hold that action, I’ve got to take this,’ Callum says to someone who is not me. Now, I hear music playing in the background…Usher? Oh.

‘You’re with someone.’ I sniff. ‘I’m sorry, Callum. This doesn’t matter. Go back to whoever you’re with and whatever you were doing.’

‘Baby girl, when did you last call me at four in the morning? This matters.’ The music disappears and I imagine he’s left one room and moved into another.

‘Eddie can’t see what you’re doing, can he?’ I ask, trying and failing to sound playful.

‘He’s asleep in his bed in the lounge but the man in my bedroom is big enough that Eddie might just catch a glimpse from there.’

‘Too much information, Callum.’ His usual crudeness about his sex life doesn’t manage to amuse me as much as it normally would but it does pause my tears.

I hear a thud and think he just plopped down onto his leather sofa – I must remember to wipe that down before I sit there next. ‘Let’s get serious, what’s wrong? Are you okay? I’m worried to death about you over there.’

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