Page 72 of Stuck in Paradise with You

‘Ha, and Mr Huge is just there to take your mind off things, right?’

‘Hey, don’t belittle how much I care about you.’

I know he does. I know because I care about him just as much. He’s been a staple in my life for… well, since Luke broke my heart and I moved in to my current apartment, which Icouldn’t really afford then, next door to Callum. Speaking of which…

‘Callum, I’ve done something stupid.’

He sighs. ‘You kissed Luke.’

His statement is emphatic. Not surprised or perturbed. Resigned.

‘More like fourth base,’ I confess, bringing the palm of my hand to my forehead.

‘Wh— Hold up. You?Youscrewed him?Luke?’

‘Please don’t call it that and stop with the judgy-judgisome. Though I totally deserve it.’ I groan, looking to the ceiling to fight more tears but unable to prevent another sniff of my nose.

‘No, I— Carrie, I’m not judging you, babes. Zero judgment. I have a hunk waiting in my bedsheets next door.’

‘Right.’ I shake my head, knowing it’s so far from the same thing. ‘You do this all the time. Means nothing.’

‘Yeah, but that’s because I do it all the time, Carrie. That’s my lifestyle choice. If you take a man to bed?—’

‘Please don’t finish that sentence.’

‘It means something, babes. The question is, what did it mean to you and why are you calling me at this time in the morning crying your heart out?’

‘I’m not crying. You’re crying,’ I say, repeating words we say to each other when we’re both bleary-eyed after a Nicholas Sparks movie. But they aren’t funny in this moment because another silent drip falls down my cheek. ‘I don’t know, Callum. I don’t know why I did it, I don’t know what it meant, and I don’t know how to face him again today.’

‘Did you do a sneak out?’

I blow out so hard, my lips almost raspberry. ‘Yes. I’m a wreck. He can’t see me like this. And I’m stuck here, trapped. The storm is nearly on top of us and I need to clean up and get to Joe Hettich’s hurricane room to ride it out with a bunch ofpeople who are all Team Luke, andLuke. Oh yeah, and the client who is probably the last person who stands between me and my partnership case at the firm that I’ve busted my ass for.’

I expect some kind of told you so or witty remark, but it troubles me more when Callum speaks with the kind of sincerity I rarely see on him. ‘I wish I was there to help you through this one, baby girl.’

His words, his tone, only confirm how much of a disaster this is.

‘What do I do, Callum?’

‘Build yourself a time machine?’

I shake my head. ‘If I can’t do that?’

‘Get yourself a shower. Get dressed. Put your war paint on. And while you’re doing all of that, decide how you want to play this thing.’

‘What if I don’t know how?’

I imagine him rubbing his gruff chin, the way he does when he’s thinking, because it’s long seconds before he asks, ‘Do you want to be with him? Is that what screw— sleeping with him was about?’

‘No! It can’t be. He’s my client. Joe Hettich is my client. I’m not putting my career on the line again for Luke or any man. But even if that weren’t the case…’ I press my finger and thumb into the corners of my eyes as pressure builds again. ‘Nothing’s changed. He still walked away from me once before for someone he wanted more.’

I think about the letters Luke spoke of. Letters I never received. I wish I knew what was inside those pages. But the fact is, they were words. He may have written to me to explain a few things, to apologize, but ultimately, he still went back to his wife. Now, it seems, truly his ex-wife, too. I don’t even know how long they’ve been apart and divorced, whether there’s been anyone serious since. None of it even matters. It can’t.

‘I can’t go back there, Callum. I can’t go back to being in a thousand pieces the way I was.’ Pieces that Callum helped pick up and put back together. He knows how shattered I was. How I had to rebuild my life and career.

‘Callum? Are you still there?’

‘I’m here,’ he says. ‘Just thinking. So maybe, what happened between the two of you last night, or this morning, was closure, right? It was one last rodeo to say goodbye, or get each other out of your systems, you know? Closing the door on the past rather than opening the door to the future.’

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