Page 44 of Reluctantly You

“It’s fine,” I finally manage to say, my voice breaking slightly. Fucking hate that they can hear it, the hurt in my words.

“We really would like you to meet Coop and Beau—officially, I mean—but we just wanted to talk to you first…”

“To make sure I’m not an asshole?” I bite out.

They shift and then Max nods. “Yeah. We…well, we love them. We love you. We don’t want you to hurt them. We just want you to get along.”

I blink as I fold my arms across my chest, the button-up shirt I’m wearing suddenly feeling too tight. I shouldn’t have worn this. I feel so fucking exposed.

“I’ll be nice. I won’t talk about the gay shit.”

Max and Matt let out a collective breath. “Awesome. I mean, you can talk about gay shit, but only the nice stuff, yeah?” Max says, and I nod.

He grins as he leans down and lets Doggo off his leash. He bounds toward the waves, nearly toppling over as he goes, and the three of us stand there watching him snap at the water, his fur growing wet as he barks happily at the seagulls.

“He’s such a goober,” Max says, and Matt chuckles lowly.

“Yeah he is. Maybe we’ll get a dog one day.”

“You should. It’s been fun,” Max replies.

“I got a cat,” I interject and both of them turn toward me. Max lets out a surprised laugh.

“How?”

“It came into my house one day,” I explain, and Matt throws his arm over my shoulders.

“And now it won’t leave?” he asks.

“Yeah. Seems I’m stuck with it now.”

“That’s kind of like Doggo,” Max says. “Beau basically told me we’d co-parent him because we were just friends at the time, and the next thing you know, we’re living together.”

“Married,” Matt corrects and then winks at him.

Max flushes and nods. “Yeah, it’s awesome, right?”

Matt nods and then glances over at me, looking slightly nervous. “You have anyone?”

I feel my stomach clench as I shake my head. “Just the cat.”

“Really?” Matt asks, and I nod. I know what they’re thinking. Usually I’m rambling on and on about the hot chicks I’m banging, but it’s all been a fucking lie.

I’m a fucking liar.

I should want it for real, should want women, but I just fucking don’t. God, it makes me so angry. The way I’ve tried to no avail.

“Yep, not dating right now.”

“Not even a fuck buddy? A situationship?”

“No. Just work and working out.”

“Bummer,” Max replies, and I fake agreement.

Part of me wants to come clean to tell them how I spend some of my evenings, how I cruise the popular areas and let guys suck my cock, how I have a gay hookup app on my phone hidden in a benign folder. I also want to tell them about our dad…theirdad, but I don’t want to put a damper on the evening. It’s amazing they even asked me over, considering how I’ve behaved in the past.

My mind drifts again to Gideon. What would he think about all of this? About my past behavior? About me meeting up with my brothers now?

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