Page 54 of Sweetest Hate

Arsen

The closest hotelwas a half-hour from Holloway. Without having a change of clothes when I'd left, my clothes still smelled of the bland air freshener they sprayed the room with as I pulled into Ivy's driveway.

Kellan's car sat parked alongside the curb in front of his house, and my nostrils flared as I held myself back from going straight to his door, knocking, and saying everything I'd thought about over the last two days. In the end, I'd decided it wouldn't matter. He was leaving today to go back to Atlanta, and I would be leaving for North Carolina as soon as I could throw my stuff together and get it loaded in my car. I needed to get the fuck out of Holloway. Being this close to Kellan and not making the situation harder was impossible. Nothing could come of us being together when we'd live several states apart, and things between us were already so fucked up.

I still wasn't happy about the situation with Quinn and Kellan's past feelings for him, but I'd let go of the misplaced knee-jerk thoughts of betrayal.

Forcing myself to look away, I ignored the ache in my chest as I got out of the car and headed for the front door of what I was reluctantly beginning to recognize as my dad's house, too. However, I still had my reservations if he could make the marriage work.

When I entered, the house was quiet, so I hoped Quinn was still asleep, or better, not home at all. He was the last person I felt like dealing with first thing in the morning, or ever again.

With light steps, I followed along the hall and paused when I heard the shower running. Son of a bitch. I had to be fast if I wanted to avoid him, which I definitely did.

As soon as I stepped inside the guest room, I grabbed my bag and tossed it on the bed. Rushing around the room, I grabbed my stuff, shoving it inside until it bulged at the seams. I tossed the strap over my shoulder and turned to leave, coming face to face with Quinn, who stood in the doorway, hair soaking wet and wearing nothing but a loose pair of basketball shorts. He appeared, as if he'd known my plans and rushed out of the bathroom.

"You're just going to leave?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I grabbed my keys off the dresser. "What do you care?"

"I don't give a shit, except my best friend has been avoiding me and moping around outside since you up and left without a word. I'm guessing you haven't talked to him at all since you left either, have you?"

"And I'm sure you have," I gritted through my teeth. He'd likely taken advantage of my absence, and even though I believed Kellan when he said he didn't have a thing for Quinn, I wasn't sure I trusted my stepbrother.

He scowled. "What part of he's avoiding me, didn't you understand?"

"I have to go." I pushed past him and headed for the front door.

Quinn was hot on my heels. "If you leave him, you don't fucking deserve him."

"You made it clear I didn't deserve him anyway." I paused at the door, turning to look him in the eye. "You made it perfectly fucking clear that you thought I wasn't good enough for him, so this should be good news that I'm leaving."

"That was before I realized he was in love with you for some unknown reason, and you make him happy. You feel the same way too, right?" Quinn didn't give me time to respond, though I wasn't sure what I would have said anyway. "Am I thrilled about it? Not even a little bit. But believe it or not, despite how I feel about him and the fact that he doesn't feel the same way, I want him to be happy. And I repeat, you, for some fucked up reason, can do that for him." Quinn crossed the room, almost coming nose to nose with me, and I barely suppressed the urge to shove him back out of my space. "If you leave without talking to him, you're just going to prove me right. And I don't want that." I wasn't sure I would have believed him if it wasn't for the fire in his hazel eyes as he read me the riot act. "Believe me, this surprises me too."

I deserved it for fleeing, but Quinn didn't understand that I was leaving so neither of us got hurt any more than what had already happened.

"This was a summer thing," I said, not believing the words as they came out of my mouth.

Quinn scoffed. "Keep telling yourself that, but we both know that's bullshit."

"I have a job in North Carolina. Kellan will be in Atlanta," I growled. "What am I supposed to do since you have it all figured out?"

"You fucking make it work, Arsen. You do whatever the hell you have to." He stepped back, snorting as he shook his head. "You're right. Fucking leave. And when he's beating himself up, blaming himself, I want you to remember you did this. You have the power to fix it and make it work, but you copped out and took the easy way out. What are you so fucking afraid of? Is it what I said about your mom? I'm sorry, okay? I was pissed and didn't even mean it. I know that doesn't make it okay, but I can't take it back. I saw it in your eyes the second you laid eyes on Kellan, that I was going to lose him. I knew it then, and surprise, I was right. You won, and you aren't doing a damn thing about it, so leave." He cocked a brow. "Maybe I'll be there for him, picking up the pieces."

Even though I knew he was taunting me, I growled, "Stay the fuck away from him, Quinn."

He scoffed. "You get in that car without talking to him and working it out, you lose any right to tell either of us what to do. You get that, right? It's one way or the other. You can't walk away from him and expect other guys not to go after him. And it'll happen one day. He'll get over you and move on. When you're stalking him on social media, berating yourself for losing the one person who was meant for you"—he literally gagged—"he's going to find happiness with someone who thought he was worth it. Who thought he was enough."

The last words stung like a motherfucker because it was the very thing I feared most. That I would never be enough to make someone want me, bad parts and all. But Kellan, he knew more about me than anyone, and if I could believe Quinn, loved me anyway. How could I believe Quinn, though? "How do you know how he feels about me?"

"Because it's seriously obvious with the way he looks at you. Were you even paying attention? Or are you so stuck up your own ass you don't see what's right in front of you? Have you ever taken a step back to examine your own shit?"

"That's all I've been doing for days now," I seethed. "You think this is easy for me? It's not. But it's the right thing."

Quinn sighed and sucked in a frustrated breath. "Just leave, Arsen. Get the fuck out."

Jaw set, I jerked open the door and headed for my car. With my hand on the door handle, I took one last long look toward Kellan's house and then forced myself to throw my bag in the back seat and get on the road. As I drove away, I couldn't help glancing in the rearview mirror as I left him behind. The guy I had fallen in love with.Fallen in love with. The thought circulated through my thoughts over and over. When had I fallen for my little mouse?

I briefly closed my eyes before refocusing on the road as I reminded myself I was doing the right thing. I had a job waiting, and Kellan had college. If I faced him, the only thing it would achieve was making the separation harder.

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