Page 55 of Sweetest Hate

Maybe he'd leave me one day anyway. That's what it really boiled down to—my fear of rejection, I guessed. So I ran away from him. I ran from my heart that only beat for him. And I ran from any potential happiness I might find with him. Happiness I'd already found. But I'd also found heartbreak, and I just couldn't deal with that. Not again. People left. They just did. And if Kellan left… My throat constricted.

I made it to the downtown area before I drove into a gas station parking lot and pulled out my phone.

Blowing out a deep breath, I texted Piper.

Me:I don't know what to do.

Piper:Tell me what happened.

Nineteen

Kellan

My first dayback at work was dragging. There had been a total of three customers in the last two hours, and I was running out of ways to keep busy. I was really just trying to distract myself from thinking about Arsen.

The only customer in the store stood across the counter from me as I pulled a video game off the shelf, stuck it in the empty case, closed it, and set it next to the register. "Do you have a rewards card with us?"

The guy couldn't have been older than sixteen, but I was required to ask everyone.

"Do I need one?" He brushed his shaggy brown hair aside and squinted through his square-frame glasses.

"Nah, you're good. Need anything else?" I forced a smile I didn't feel, and it must have not been very convincing because he quickly shook his head. I glanced at the screen and gave him his total.

After he paid, I put his game in a plastic bag and handed it over the counter. "See you next time."

I had no idea if there would be a next time, but again with the required spiel.

Once he left, I reached under the counter to grab the bin filled with used games that had been traded in throughout the day, then started taking inventory.

"Kellan, can I talk to you for a second?" My boss, Parker, called from the stockroom door.

Placing the remaining games back in the bin, I rose to my feet and stepped toward the man wearing the same store uniform I was, a red polo shirt with the store's logo and khaki pants. He was a big guy, tall and bulky, with pale skin and dirty blond hair that he refused to do more than brush. He looked at me with concern. "Everything okay with you? You seem different since you came back."

I breathed out a sigh. "Sorry, yeah, everything's fine."

Parker didn't appear convinced, scrutinizing my face. "We're slow. You need to take a break?"

A break would only free up more mental space to think about Arsen, so I shook my head. I needed the distraction, so I tipped my head back to where I'd left off my task of inventory. "I'd rather keep busy if that's cool."

Parker frowned. "That doesn't sound like nothing's wrong. You know I like you, but dude, whatever's eating you is killing the vibe here and seems to be making customers uncomfortable."

If I looked half as shitty as I felt, he was probably right. No one wanted to be affected by my negative energy and it would probably be best to step away for a bit. "Some personal things happened while I was gone. You're right. Maybe a break would be helpful."

Parker dug in his pocket and pulled out his Pac Man wallet, retrieving a five-dollar bill. "Head next door and grab a coffee. See if it helps."

"I'm not taking your money." I removed the lanyard with the register key from my neck and pushed past him to hang it on the hook in the stockroom-slash-break room. Grabbing my wallet from my locker, I glanced at him. "Thanks for the offer, but I got it. Be back in fifteen."

"No rush." He leaned against the door. "Just do whatever you need to get your head in the right place, so you don't scare off any more customers."

He smirked, and I rolled my eyes. "Yes, sir."

As far as bosses went, Parker was cool and worked with me around my class schedule. Part of his relaxed nature likely came from the fact that he smelled like weed more often than not.

I headed for the front door, passing rows of games and other merchandise. The chime went off as I stepped outside onto the busy walkway, bustling with people heading to the surrounding shops and restaurants for early dinner. This part of town, being so close to campus, was always teeming with students and staff from the college. I barely avoided colliding with a group of girls who were giggling about something as they glanced over their shoulders. Before I could find out what had grabbed their attention, my phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out, disappointed when I saw who the text was from. I wasn't expecting Arsen to message me. Things had ended between us with a finality that had him taking off to another state. Still, it hadn't stopped the wild thump in my chest at the possibility. Instead, it was the other stepbrother.

Quinn:Want to hit up the arcade tonight when you get off work?

I hesitated to answer. Things were awkward between us, especially because we lived together, and I knew he was trying to make things right again. I just wasn't there yet and didn't know when, or if, our friendship would survive what had happened over the last few weeks. He'd withheld information about not only himself, which he was entitled to, but also about Arsen. And the worst thing, the one I just couldn't seem to move past, was knowing what he'd said to Arsen the night they'd first met. I'd never thought my best friend was capable of being deliberately cruel. Still, Quinn and I had history, spanning from my first memory. Now I wasn't sure what to do.

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