Page 66 of Mutant Mine

With a snarl, I slam my fist into the ground beside the man’s head. He shrieks and flinches away. I punch again, and again.

The man is whimpering now. He is not harmed, but there is blood on my fists.

“I’m sorry, man,” he whispers, his voice thick with tears. “I was kidding. Only kidding.”

The corridor remains silent behind me as I force myself to get up and walk away.

I had intended to do my regular rounds of the ship — checking on our rotas and supply levels, showing my face, and keeping the men in line if needs be. But clearly I am in no fit shape to do any of that. It is best to confine myself somewhere that I cannot hurt anyone.

I head to the flight deck.

This can be accessed through two doors: one through the Captain’s quarters, and one connecting to the main body of the ship, close to the maintenance hubs, engine room, medical bay, and other technical departments. So, thankfully, I do not have to disturb Rory in our rooms.

Her rooms.

As I settle myself at the instrument panel, I cannot help but keep glancing at the door. She must be just behind there, mere feet away from me. It might as well be a thousand miles.

Is she in pain? Has she been able to get back to sleep?

Every fiber of me itches to stride across the room and fling the door open. The creature in my chest thrashes and howls that it is wrong to be away from her, wrong to be in conflict with her — that everything iswrong.

The memories are so heady in here, also. Here, where the little bird let me kiss her for the first time. There, the wall I pressed her against as she parted her legs around my waist. Where she told me that she was not afraid of me — that she trusted me, and wanted me.

I should not have tormented myself by coming here. Nothing needs doing to the navigational equipment; our path is set and true. I have just come here to distract myself, and as an excuse to be close to her.

I sigh. Since I am here, I will perform the basic checks. Then I will go and do what I should have been calm enough to do earlier: make sure all the men are faring well and keeping up with our most essential responsibilities. My own emotions are no reason to neglect my duty of care to all the lives on this ship.

I am barely paying attention as my fingers slide over the digital keypads, summoning the readouts.

The engines are running well, with all vital statistics at comfortable levels. We are making good time, and are on course. No obstacles have been detected by the scanner. There is one new transmission.

…There is one new transmission?

My fingers shake as I bring up the message, projected in glowing green digits onto the black window of space.

It is a sequence of numbers. They are the subject numbers of my brothers from the laboratory.

I know the number that will finish the sequence.

For a brief time, I just stare up at the message, its green light falling across my face. The future is unspooling before me. Iam in the moment where two paths diverge — a moment that comes but a few times in our lives.

I type out the number that was written on my own laboratory cell door, and send the transmission. Then I walk straight into the bedroom to tell Rory. I do not even remember to knock. Nothing else matters now. Only this.

But I know it as soon as I open the door: the room is empty. Rory has vanished.

33

Rory

THIS SHOULDfeel good, shouldn’t it?

I go down the list of objectively correct, mature actions in my head: I stuck up for myself. I gave Roth the opportunity to tell the truth. When he didn’t take that opportunity, I broke things off between us before they could go any further. Tick, tick, tick.

I have done the right thing. Ihave. But it doesn’t feel good at all. It feels like I’m going to crawl out of my skin. My chest aches as though it’s collapsing in on itself, with a sucking black hole at its center.

Thank God I didn’t let him go all the way. Not that he ever tried to. Did he really want me at all? I grit my fingernails into my palms.

The rooms feel too big all of a sudden. What if he comes back? What would we even say to each other? My pulse is going as fast as a rabbit’s. I cannot be in here when he comes back. And he will come back, I know he will. He has to. We’re both aware that the prisoners know I’m in these rooms. Sooner or later, someone would notice if Roth abandoned me here, and come sniffing around after his leftovers.

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