My eye is drawn to it.
My mind drifts back to every moment I have spent with Tuomo.
Each time he did something special for me, and each time I feared his intense love.
When he was, I leaned towards him, and when he was angry, I winced away. But the one thing that never wavered, despite the changes in him - was his love for me.
His anger was only ever a reflection of his fear of losing me.
His gentleness was the moments when he thought he had me.
Through everything that has happened - he has always loved me.
But it terrifies me he will do horrific things with the love he has for me. What else is he capable of?
I believe him though.
When he tells me, he will wait forever.
Because he has already waited years for me. I understand that now. Seven years, every day, he has been waiting for me.
I don’t know what to do.
This decision that I have to make is going to affect my future in every way - and the future of my baby.
On Thursday morning a package arrives at my apartment.
It’s a massive white box with a silver ribbon around it.
I carry it up to my room, placing it on the bed I stare at it for ages before I find the courage to open it. Because I know it’s from him, and I don’t want to be thrown back into that turmoil of needing to make a choice.
I’m a little nervous to know what he is giving me.
I tug at the silver ribbon, and it un-threads, slipping away from the box. An envelope falls loose, drifting off my bed and onto the floor.
I bend down and scoop it up. Sitting back on the bed with my legs crossed I pry the envelope open and unfold the crisp thick paper inside.
It is a letter from Tuomo, handwritten. I recognize his messy boy-handwriting, and it makes me smile. My heart clenches tight in my chest.
Little bird,
Please forgive me. I know what I did was unfair. It was wrong. I know it in the very fiber of my being, yet I can’t say that I regret it because it has tied to me to you forever.
Please, come to the beach. Marry me. Let me spend the rest of my life showing you I am not the person I seem to be. I love you. I will show you that every single day in every way possible.
Forgive me, little bird.
Yours for eternity.
Tuomo
X
Iblink back the salty burn of tears and clear my throat to sooth away the lump forming there.
Then I pull the lid of the box open and gasp.
Tissue paper falls away and reveals a wedding dress.