Page 88 of Something New

My eye is drawn to it.

My mind drifts back to every moment I have spent with Tuomo.

Each time he did something special for me, and each time I feared his intense love.

When he was, I leaned towards him, and when he was angry, I winced away. But the one thing that never wavered, despite the changes in him - was his love for me.

His anger was only ever a reflection of his fear of losing me.

His gentleness was the moments when he thought he had me.

Through everything that has happened - he has always loved me.

But it terrifies me he will do horrific things with the love he has for me. What else is he capable of?

I believe him though.

When he tells me, he will wait forever.

Because he has already waited years for me. I understand that now. Seven years, every day, he has been waiting for me.

I don’t know what to do.

This decision that I have to make is going to affect my future in every way - and the future of my baby.

On Thursday morning a package arrives at my apartment.

It’s a massive white box with a silver ribbon around it.

I carry it up to my room, placing it on the bed I stare at it for ages before I find the courage to open it. Because I know it’s from him, and I don’t want to be thrown back into that turmoil of needing to make a choice.

I’m a little nervous to know what he is giving me.

I tug at the silver ribbon, and it un-threads, slipping away from the box. An envelope falls loose, drifting off my bed and onto the floor.

I bend down and scoop it up. Sitting back on the bed with my legs crossed I pry the envelope open and unfold the crisp thick paper inside.

It is a letter from Tuomo, handwritten. I recognize his messy boy-handwriting, and it makes me smile. My heart clenches tight in my chest.

Little bird,

Please forgive me. I know what I did was unfair. It was wrong. I know it in the very fiber of my being, yet I can’t say that I regret it because it has tied to me to you forever.

Please, come to the beach. Marry me. Let me spend the rest of my life showing you I am not the person I seem to be. I love you. I will show you that every single day in every way possible.

Forgive me, little bird.

Yours for eternity.

Tuomo

X

Iblink back the salty burn of tears and clear my throat to sooth away the lump forming there.

Then I pull the lid of the box open and gasp.

Tissue paper falls away and reveals a wedding dress.